Outlooks & Setbacks Saturdays

“Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.” ― Roy T. Bennett

When was the last time you felt grateful for something? What was it? Why did you feel grateful? How did you express your gratitude?

More importantly, how did your gratitude affect other areas of your life? Did you feel a little extra bounce in your step? Were you happier? Did you have a more optimistic outlook toward the future?

Gratitude is a simple tool we all have at our disposal to improve our own well-being and that of others.

Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity … it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

What is gratitude?

Gratitude is a conscious, positive emotion one can express when feeling thankful for something, whether tangible or intangible.

From the time we are little, we are asked to thank others when they give us a gift or extend a nice gesture. We learn to thank automatically and as a social rule. But, how many times do we extend thanks for the little good things that happen to us daily? Do we really know how to be grateful? 

We have all heard or read many definitions of gratitude, but experiencing gratitude at its core requires a conscious effort. How many times do we say 'thank you' without taking a moment to actually feel thankful?

An effective gratitude practice involves much more than showing good manners. It’s a practice that requires acknowledging someone else's gesture towards us or the big and little things that are going well in our lives. It involves both a process of recognition of the positive and its outcome, through easy and hard times.

Benefits of gratitude for mental health and beyond

Regularly practicing and expressing gratitude has many benefits, both short- and long-term.

Psychologists have highly researched gratitude and find it to be among the main focuses of positive psychology. Evidence suggests that people who consciously count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed. But how?

Gratitude changes our brains

Research has found that more grateful people have more brain activity in the medial prefrontal cortex, the area associated with learning and decision-making. This brain activity persisted a month later, suggesting that gratitude has long-lasting effects.

Gratitude can overpower negative emotions

Feeling grateful boosts positive emotions like joy and compassion while encouraging us to look for and connect with what’s good in life. This helps us switch our attention from toxic emotions, such as resentment and envy.

Gratitude builds over time

A continued gratitude practice starts having long-lasting effects on mood, self-esteem, and behavior, which can snowball over time. Grabbind a piece of paper and writing a short and simple gratitude list each day or two can have compoundable benefits.

Gratitude can help combat depression

A study showed that a single thoughtful appreciation leads to an immediate 10 percent increase in happiness and a 35 percent reduction in depressive symptoms. When gratitude rituals become habits, they can help prevent anxiety and depression. 

Gratitude boosts our optimism

According to research by Dr. Robert Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough, people who write a few sentences each week focusing on gratitude felt more optimistic.

It improves our health

Expressing gratitude in everyday life actually has physical health benefits. Besides reducing and countering negative emotions, practicing gratitude is linked to other healthy behaviors, such as working out. Research has also associated gratitude with more robust immune systems, fewer aches and pains, lower blood pressure, and a deeper, more restoring sleep.

It leads to stronger relationships and communities

A regular gratitude practice can support the greater good outside of ourselves. Through gratitude, we increase our capacity for forgiveness, become more likely to help others, and develop compassion for others. This can extend to friends, loved ones, coworkers, and even strangers.

Researchers at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania found that workers were 50 percent more efficient when they had managers who actively expressed gratitude.

Similar research by psychologists Adam Grant and Francesca Gino found that receiving thanks for good performance made team members feel a strong sense of self-worth and confidence. It also led to an increase in trust and initiative to help one another.  

It can lead to positive actions 

Whether expressing thankfulness or boosting our motivation to help others, a grateful attitude has been shown to increase our likelihood of spreading the encouragement and joy it generates in us. Research suggests gratitude may also play a role in motivating individuals to engage in positive behaviors leading to self-improvement. 

This can positively affect us on two levels. First, when we have a grateful mindset, we tend to involve ourselves in other practices that improve our well-being, such as meditation, sports, and recognizing our strengths. Second, an attitude of gratitude can inspire random acts of kindness toward others.  

Also, research carried out by Frederickson showed that gratitude, when expressed effectively, increases the probability of the recipient to lend favor to a third party, effectively expanding a network of good.

10 tips to start a daily gratitude practice

Starting a daily gratitude practice can have positive effects on your well-being. It might sound overwhelming, but short and simple gratitude exercises can be plugged into most days. Here are 10 tips to help you begin:

1. Set a time: Choose a specific time each day to practice gratitude. It could be in the morning, before bed, or during a break.
2. Create a routine: Establish a routine around your gratitude practice. This could involve sitting quietly, journaling, or incorporating it into an existing routine.
3. Choose a medium: Decide how you want to express your gratitude. You can write in a gratitude journal, create a gratitude jar, or use a gratitude app.
4. Start small: Begin with a few things you're grateful for each day. They can be simple, like a good cup of coffee or a kind interaction.
5. Reflect on challenges: Consider challenges you faced during the day and find something positive within them. This can shift your perspective.
6. Express sincere thanks: Take a moment to express genuine thanks to the people around you. It could be a friend, family member, or colleague.
7. Mindful moments: Integrate mindfulness into your practice. Take a moment to fully experience the sensations associated with what you're grateful for.
8. Mix it up: Vary your expressions of gratitude. Some days you might write, while other days you could create a mental list or even draw.
9. Share gratitude: Share your gratitude practice with others. This could be through conversations or by expressing appreciation directly to someone.
10. Be consistent: Consistency is key. Make gratitude a daily habit to experience its full benefits.
11. Tame your inner critic: Understand how your inner critic affects gratitude. Taming it means being aware and kind to yourself. Identify and name self-critical thoughts to create space and weaken their impact. This helps because a loud inner critic can make it hard to feel grateful.
12. Embrace self-compassion: Make your gratitude journey better by adding self-compassion. Know that gratitude can mix with self-criticism or fear. Follow Kristin Neff's ideas—be kind to yourself, remember we're all in this together, and stay mindful. Combining self-compassion with gratitude makes you more caring towards yourself and others when facing life's ups and downs.

If the pressure of writing a gratitude letter every day is too stressful, choose a different method or cadence to get started. Building any good habit takes time and can feel awkward to begin with so remember to be kind and patient with yourself.

12 ways to practice gratitude

Like any skill, gratitude can be learned and strengthened. Here are some ideas for how to practice gratitude in your own life and improve your overall life satisfaction.

1. Daily gratitude reflection: Reflect on three daily blessings for at least ten minutes. Therapists recommend this practice for mood improvement and better sleep. Write them down to reinforce positivity, enhancing your well-being.
2. Gratitude Journaling: Use a gratitude journal for self-therapy. Activate different brain areas, promoting resilience, forgiveness, and detachment. Reading your expressions of gratitude provides comfort during tough times.
3. Expressive thanks weekly: Consciously express gratitude to someone new weekly. Move beyond routine thank-yous with thoughtful gestures, strengthening connections and fostering deeper appreciation.
4. Gratitude meditation: Dive deep into gratitude through guided meditation, promoting acceptance, detachment, and forgiveness. Visualize specific situations, allowing gratitude to grow stronger.
5. Focus on others' intentions: When receiving a gift, focus on the giver's positive intentions. Visualize their willingness to bring happiness or support in challenging moments, deepening gratitude and interpersonal connections.
6. Acts of kindness: Show gratitude through actions. Perform small acts of kindness for others without expecting anything in return. It could be helping a colleague with a task, offering a seat to someone in need, or doing a favor for a friend.
7. Gratitude letter: Take the time to write a heartfelt gratitude letter to someone who has positively impacted your life. Express your appreciation for their actions, kindness, or support.
8. Create a gratitude collage: Use visual elements to express gratitude. Create a collage with images and words that represent things you're thankful for. This can be a creative and visually impactful way to remind yourself of the positive aspects of your life.
9. Mindful eating: Practice gratitude during meals. This is one simple way to incorporate gratitude into your daily life. Take a moment to appreciate the flavors, textures, and nourishment provided by the food you eat. This mindful approach to eating can turn a routine activity into a gratitude practice.
10. Volunteer or donate: Give back to the community or a cause you care about. Volunteering your time or making charitable donations can be a powerful way to express gratitude for the privileges and resources you have.
11. Express gratitude in the moment: Instead of waiting to reflect on gratitude at the end of the day, express it in the moment. When something positive happens or someone does something kind, acknowledge and express your gratitude immediately.
12. Mindful breathing: Develop a sense of gratitude with mindfulness practices like deep breathing. As you inhale and exhale, focus on the things you're grateful for. This can help create a sense of calm and appreciation in the present moment.

Is gratitude an emotion or a feeling?

We can feel, be, and act grateful. So the easy answer is that gratitude is both an emotion and a feeling. As with other emotions, gratitude can also become a trait. When it describes someone who is always grateful, it becomes an adjective, which means that the person is often feeling and expressing this state. 

As a state, gratitude is experienced as a complex emotion, which implies that it involves our thoughts of gratefulness. For instance, “What a nice gesture,” or “I am so lucky to have someone like you.”

And finally, emotion can also be experienced as a feeling. Feelings tend to be a less complicated form of state. The big difference depends on the author, but a way of seeing it would be as a less intense and more momentary state.

At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

Potential challenges in gratitude practices

Gratitude, while recognized for its positive impact, comes with its set of challenges that individuals may encounter in their practices.

Introduction to "Gratitude Bypassing"

When we look at the science of gratitude, one challenge is the phenomenon known as "gratitude bypassing," where individuals use gratitude to avoid confronting real challenges. This can manifest as a tendency to focus on the expectation of feeling grateful rather than addressing underlying issues.

Unintended Consequences of Gratitude

Despite its benefits, practicing gratitude can sometimes lead to unintended consequences. A case in point is the experience of impending doom. Individuals may paradoxically feel a sense of impending negativity as they genuinely recognize and express gratitude for the positive aspects of their lives.

Positive and Negative Internal Experiences

The internal experience of gratitude can vary widely. A positive experience involves a genuine acknowledgment of blessings, resulting in elevated mood, deeper breathing, and a sense of internal spaciousness. On the contrary, negative experiences may include forced or robotic feelings of gratitude, guilt associated with counting blessings, a sense of constriction, feelings of separation rather than connection, and a shift towards negative thoughts.

Navigating these internal experiences is crucial for ensuring that gratitude practices contribute positively to well-being rather than inadvertently triggering negative emotions. Recognizing and addressing these challenges opens the door to a more nuanced and authentic gratitude practice.

Recognizing the Need for Self-Compassion in Gratitude Practices

As individuals engage in gratitude practices, they may encounter challenges such as self-criticism and aversion to vulnerability. The need for self-compassion becomes apparent, recognizing that the way gratitude is experienced can be influenced by internal struggles. 

When the self-critic is particularly loud or acknowledging life's blessings triggers a fear of loss, these are signals that additional psychological resources are required. The acknowledgment of these challenges prompts a shift toward self-compassion, a vital component to ensure that gratitude practices contribute positively to well-being.

Final thoughts on gratitude

Gratitude is, without question, a great emotion to cultivate. Hopefully, we can make it a habit that translates into a trait. Don't forget that practice and patience are key ingredients to our purposes and intentions. Start your practice today.

Thanks & Gratitude

What is something in your life that you are thankful for today?