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Being Agreeable

Being an agreeable person is a good skill to carry with you through your life.

Just like with anything, we have to be careful that we keep balanced because without balance, things fall apart - literally!

You can definitely be too agreeable to the point where you start agreeing with things you shouldn’t agree with. I don’t believe that being an agreeable person should mean that you compromise your values because that is very unhealthy.

But being agreeable will make you an easier person to interact with. Think about the people that you spend time with - are they difficult to get along with? Do they disagree with everything you say? If so, you probably don’t tend to want to spend too much time with them.

Being disagreeable is different than discussing different opinions - it’s just being contrary.

I know that I can tend to be a bit disagreeable if I’m in a bad mood. I can feel it as I communicate - I just feel testy and contrary. I will disagree with almost anything, even if I disagree simply for the sake of playing devil’s advocate. It drives my family and friends crazy.

So I am working hard at being more agreeable, even when I’m not in the best mood because I know it is so much better for my relationships.

Sometimes it’s just better to keep my mouth shut than to speak in a disagreeable mood.

I also have some friends who are too agreeable, in my opinion, where they are afraid to actually share their opinion. That doesn’t create a strong relationship either.

So like I said, it’s a balance, but learning to be the right level of agreeable is an important skill to carry with you through your life.

Interesting Fact #1

Highly agreeable people are prone to assume that others mean well and have good intentions. They are less likely to judge others or make snap decisions about people choosing to show compassion and kindness in abundance.


Interesting Fact #2

Often seen as peacemakers over those that like confrontation and disruption. Highly agreeable people will often compromise their own needs for others.


Interesting Fact #3

This is also very common, where agreeable individuals are very down to earth and humble.


Quote of the day

“Agreeable could sometimes pass as obedient.” ― Jack Heath

Article of the day - Study: Agreeableness a Helpful Trait for General Success in Life

Following a major study of the effects of personality on job performance, researchers zoomed in on one personality trait – agreeableness – and found that it has a desirable effect on hundreds of physical, psychological and occupational metrics that impact not only job performance but general life success.

Michael Wilmot, assistant professor of management at the U of A, and Deniz Ones, professor of psychology at the University of Minnesota, examined a wide range of variables, from psychological and physical health to interpersonal relationships, and from leadership effectiveness to performance in academic and organizational settings.

To better understand the impact of agreeableness, the researchers summarized results from 142 meta-analyses reporting effects for 275 variables. In all, the results comprised more than 1.9 million participants from roughly 3,900 studies. Meta-analysis is a process used to systematically merge multiple independent findings using statistical methods to calculate an overall effect.

Wilmot and Ones found that agreeableness had a desirable effect on 93 percent of variables and outcomes.

“We wanted to do a quantitative summary and synthesis of what we have learned about relations between agreeableness, one of the so-called Big Five personality traits, and its consequences,” Wilmot said. “We know this is important – perhaps now more than ever – because agreeableness is the personality trait primarily concerned with helping people and building positive relationships, which is not lost on organizational leaders.”

In their previous study, Wilmot and Ones combined multiple meta-analyses of the five big personality traits — conscientiousness, extraversion, openness and neuroticism, in addition to agreeableness — and examined their effect on job performance. They found that relationships between personality traits and performance varied greatly across nine major occupational groups.

To clarify and emphasize the importance of agreeableness, the researchers organized the 275 variables into broader conceptual categories. These included physical and psychological health, performance, motivation and success.

Wilmot and Ones also synthesized eight themes that captured the characteristic functioning of agreeableness across all variables and categories. The themes illustrated the essence of how agreeableness is helpful to both individuals and organizations. The themes were:

  • Self-transcendence – Having aspirations for self-directed growth and motivation to show care and concern for others.
  • Contentment – Accepting life as it is, and an ability to successfully adjust to new contexts and institutions.
  • Relational investment – Motivation to cultivate and maintain positive relationships with others.
  • Teamworking – Empathetic capacity to coordinate goals with others and ability to cooperate effectively, regardless of role, to accomplish collective objectives.
  • Work investment – Willingness to expend effort on tasks, do quality work and show a responsiveness to the work environment.
  • Lower results emphasis – A generally lower emphasis on setting goals and producing individual results and a tendency to rate others’ performance with greater leniency.
  • Social norm orientation – Greater sensitivity to and respect for  behavioral compliance with social norms and rules and avoidance of rule-breaking and wrongdoing.
  • Social integration – Capacity for successful integration into social roles and institutions and a reduced likelihood of delinquency, antisocial behavior and turnover.

“Taken altogether, the interaction among the themes became clear,” Wilmot said. “Agreeableness was marked by work investment, but this energy was best directed at helping or cooperating with others. In other words, teamwork.”

The researchers’ findings have been published in the Spring issue of Personality and Social Psychology Review.

Question of the day - Do you tend to be a more agreeable person or a more disagreeable person?

Other Relationships

Do you tend to be a more agreeable person or a more disagreeable person?