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Truth & Character Thursdays

Debatable Issues & Moral Questions

Keeping Your Nose Out Of Other People's Business

Is it wrong to stick your nose where it doesn’t belong? Maybe…

I think many times we justify why our opinion matters to someone else - even when it is not our business.

I remember a time recently when a family member of mine was making some decisions that my husband and I did not think were the greatest.

My husband and I talked long and hard about whether it was our business to throw our opinion into the ring or not. We did not want her to make a catastrophic mistake and because we love her, we questioned what to do.

We debated for a long time what the right thing to do was - and ultimately we decided that we should keep our nose out of her business unless she asked for our opinion or advice. She is an adult and is fully capable of making her own decisions. (And this particular issue wasn’t one that was going to cause anyone harm - it just might have had some negative financial consequences moving forward).

I’m not saying that we made the right decision in not saying anything - it’s one of those situations where it’s difficult to know what the right move is.

Maybe you’ve faced something similar recently where you felt very compelled to share your thoughts with someone else on a decision that they are faced with. What would you do? Do you feel that you should stick your nose in someone else’s business or not?

Recommended Book

Surrounded by Idiots

Oct 06, 2020
ISBN: 9781250179937

Interesting Fact #1

Research suggests that people who exhibit self-control are happier and experience greater well‑being.


Interesting Fact #2

Practicing mindfulness techniques can give you time to think about what to say—or whether anything needs to be said at all. Research suggests that mindfulness practices may help prevent impulsive behavior around temptations from food to cell phone use.


Interesting Fact #3

Mindfulness helps clients get out of the emotional center of their brain—the amygdala—and into the logic and reasoning center—the prefrontal cortex


Quote of the day

“Sometimes the most difficult thing is to not be distracted by what everyone else is doing and to simply mind your own business and your own goals.” -Unknown

Article of the day - The Art and Science of Minding Your Own Business

Do you think you’re responsible for the universe? Or do you stick to your own business?

Where do you draw the line between your business and other people’s business?

If we suffer, it’s usually because we’re in somebody else’s business, not minding our own life and choices.

We try to give advice, dictate how things should (or shouldn’t) be, and complain when things don’t work out.

We feel anxious, stressed, disappointed, and discouraged.

Other people can do the same thing to you, sticking their nose in your business. How does that make you feel?

When you walk around with the weight of the world on your shoulders, you won’t be able to focus on yourself. Instead you’re focused outwardly, looking for ways to fix the planet.

The world can include your spouse/partner, kids, coworkers, neighbors, your countrymen, politics, the environment, and an endless barrage of causes for concern.

The thing is: when we are not focused internally, minding our own business, making sure that we’re following our own advice and living our lives truthfully, we won’t be able to help others. We’re doing the world and ourselves a disservice.

If you want to end your suffering of wanting to change things outside of your control, look within to see why you do it in the first place.

Why do we get into other people’s business?

Interfering in other people’s business can be so ingrained that we do it subconsciously most of the times. If it’s not an action, it’s with words or thoughts. We can’t wait for the person to finish so we can jump in with our advice.

The underlying reasons behind our behavior are usually one (or a combination) of the following.

Knowing better

We feel qualified to give advice. We know better than the other person. We can guide them in changing their behavior and doing things the way we see fit—for them.

Rigid expectations

We have a view of how things should be and expect everyone to comply with such a view. We feel the need to tell others how to act or what to do in order to comply with “what should be”.

An amplified sense of responsibility

We take it upon ourselves to feel responsible for everybody’s business. We will feel guilty if we don’t get involved. The flip side of this is: we don’t trust that others are capable of taking care of their own business.

Think about the times you got involved and offered unsolicited advice or help. Why did you do it? What can you learn from it?

The art of minding your own business

Knowing when to get involved in other people’s business (or not) is an art.

When it’s a matter of life and death, the action required is pretty clear. For example if someone is drowning, you will either try to save them or you’ll get help. But if someone is talking about a painful breakup or a challenge at work, you don’t necessarily need to butt in.

The art of minding your business involves:

Using your intuition

You focus internally on your own life and your own business. If a friend needs a compassionate ear, you listen intently, without showering her with advice.

Most of the time it will be about you offering sympathy, compassion and understanding rather than judgment, advice and opinions.

Neutralizing thoughts and actions

To know the parameters of your own business and to stick to them is an art. It takes practice to master the skill. It’s not easy to not offer advice or act on behalf of others.

It’s even harder to quiet the mind in a way that you stop thinking interfering or judgmental thoughts. You stay in a neural state.

Letting others be

As you learn to be in your own business, you let others be in theirs. You trust that they’ll do what needs to be done in a way that serves them best. You feel responsible only for yourself and your actions without fear or guilt.

Within the art of being in your own business, there are a few straightforward guidelines to help you in interacting with others and your environment.

The science of minding your own business

The following guidelines can be applied in most situations.

Don’t offer advice unless you’re specifically asked for it. You’re not obligated, nor expected to chime in.

Offer your help or advice with no strings attached. If you have expectations, take a step back and try to neutralize your thoughts about the situation. Help only from a place of love and compassion, not guilt or expectation.

Remove yourself from situations where you need to take sides and the situation doesn’t involve you, or could potentially damage a relationship. You won’t do others a favor by getting in their business. Let them sort it out and if they need your help, trust that they’ll ask for it.

When you mind your business you will feel lighter; you’re not in charge of the universe. You’re more at peace. You are responsible for your life and free from expectations and disappointments.

Start today by focusing on your own needs and business. Trust that others and the universe will take care of their business. The more you trust and focus inwardly, the more things start falling into place, the way they’re meant to be.

Question of the day - When do you feel that you should stick your nose into someone else’s business? When do you think you should not?

Debatable Issues & Moral Questions

When do you feel that you should stick your nose into someone else’s business? When do you think you should not?