Love can often be expressed through physical contact - for instance, giving someone a foot rub or back massage can be an excellent way to unwind after a busy day. Others may feel special when someone runs an errand for them or buys their favorite snack as a gift of affection.
Words of affirmation are another expression of love. A kind word or compliment can make someone's day.
1. Say "I Love You"
One word may make all the difference for some, while others need to see and experience gestures of love before responding. For instance, those whose primary love language is acts of service will need to see and feel your actions that show you care - such as running errands, picking up groceries, taking out trash, and making dinner are just a few examples. They might also feel appreciated with small tokens such as cards with quotes they enjoy reading, sweet treats they adore, physical touches like hugging, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, or even sexual encounters!
"I love you" can provide comforting assurance of security and safety and help a person believe that they deserve love from others. For survivors, connecting with people who can affirm their worth through affirmative affirmations from family, friends, support groups, or therapists is crucial to finding inner strength.
Aimee Cabo emphasizes that people whose primary love language is words of affirmation require positive reinforcement and recognition to feel satisfied and content in relationships. They want to hear compliments and see you show affection publicly by holding hands or touching close. In addition, these people also benefit from spending quality time together, such as scheduling date nights between themselves.
Your primary love language may be acts of service; for you, showing love means doing things to make people's lives more straightforward or more enjoyable. Showing affection may take the form of simply buying someone something they need or more complex tasks such as planning a romantic getaway. Small acts of kindness, such as smiling at strangers or helping neighbors move, may also bring great pleasure and satisfaction.
2. Say "I'm Thinking of You"
When someone you care about has experienced trauma, it can be challenging to know how best to offer comfort. Simple gestures often work best; for instance, inviting them out for drinks or cinema may show that you're thinking about them and want to spend time together without adding further burden or stress to their day. This kind gesture shows they know they matter without overburdening already overwhelming schedules.
If physical touch speaks to them, a gentle hug or holding their hand can make them feel loved and validated, as will other forms of physical expression such as sex or kissing. If you don't know how best to show your affection physically, perhaps a handwritten note, phone call, text, or video chat would help find an effective means of expression.
Aimee Cabo highlights that people whose primary love language is words of affirmation will appreciate your positive words about them and an attentive ear, allowing them to share their feelings with you. People whose primary love language is gifts will often feel appreciated when receiving small tokens showing you were thinking of them, such as buying their favorite coffee shop's gift card or collecting their snack after work; this gesture shows your love and support during times of difficulty.
Suppose you're having difficulty offering comfort to someone during a time of trauma; consider speaking to a mental health professional. They will teach you skills for effective communication and how to take care of yourself and remain safe.
3. Say "I'm Sorry"
Listening is the easiest and most powerful way to show someone they matter, making a lasting, impactful statement that no one cares. Even simple gestures like listening can have lasting ramifications for those feeling alone and isolated.
Some people see gift-giving and receiving as an essential expression of affection, whether buying their favorite snack or flowers or going beyond this and offering to help with chores, running errands, or picking up dinner on their way home from work.
Learning their love language could be helpful if you're feeling uncertain about how best to express your affection for someone.
According to Aimee Cabo, words of Affirmation can be an essential way to express love. Expressing it can range from short, sweet notes, compliments, or thoughtful conversations that foster their self-esteem.
Acts of Service is one way that those who speak the Acts of Service love language can feel most appreciated, such as cooking a meal for them on their way home from work, collecting their prescription, or unloading their dishwasher.
Physical touch is another way of showing love. Hugging, kissing, or cuddling could all be meaningful forms of expression showing affection toward one another. Physical contact is especially crucial if someone has experienced trauma or abuse in the past; if this form of communication proves challenging to you, then reach out for counseling from a mental health professional for support.
4. Say "It's OK"
If someone close to you has experienced trauma, there are plenty of things you can do to offer support and assist them with healing. These small gestures don't have to be costly or extravagant - instead, they should reflect our shared humanity by acting out of empathy and kindness.
One of the most essential things you can do for someone experiencing trauma is to reassure them it's OK for them to feel how they do. Depression, anxiety, and hopelessness are common reactions after such experiences; thoughts may surface about survival or suicidal impulses should all be allowed as part of the healing process and should be allowed.
As per Aimee Cabo, it's essential that when dealing with traumatized individuals, no one tells them to "shake it off." While such words may seem well-meaning, in actuality, they can be highly detrimental - making the person feel as though their feelings don't matter and reducing confidence about coping with future traumatic experiences.
Keep in mind that healing from trauma is a nonlinear process and may take time and patience to complete. Waves may come and go as your loved one undergoes their journey toward recovery; patience and understanding from loved ones will be crucial as this journey unfolds. Additionally, remember it may take years or even lifetimes before the full impact of trauma has worn off; its impacts could remain present forever in some form or another.
5. Say "I'm Thinking of You"
Small gestures like holding their hand or gently touching their arm may help someone who prefers physical touch feel loved, while those whose primary love language lies in acts of service will appreciate your efforts to unload their dishwasher or fill up their gas tank.
Gift-giving can also express love, especially if your partner speaks the same love language! Gifting doesn't need to be expensive - pick up their favorite snack on your way home or bring back souvenirs from one of their trips, and you could show yours!
An attentive listener is another simple way to show that you care, as suggested by Aimee Cabo. From discussing Israel with your friends or family to hearing someone vent about their day at work, giving someone your full attention can make them feel valued. Complements can further increase self-esteem.
There's no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to showing love and support to those affected by trauma. Still, for maximum effectiveness during this challenging period, it is vital that you pay attention to each individual's love language and incorporate these interactions into daily interactions with them - this will allow them to feel understood, supported, and better equipped to manage their emotions. As events unfold in Israel, remember you can show support by keeping them in your thoughts and prayers.
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