The pursuit of perfection is on the rise. The American Psychological Association published new research that supports this increase. “Published in the journal Psychological Bulletin, the study examines responses to the Multidimensional Perfection Scale from over 40,000 college students who took the survey between 1989 and 2016. It is a test used to assess generational changes in three types of perfectionism. The results showed increases across all three: a 10 percent increase in self-directed perfectionism, a 33 percent increase in socially prescribed perfectionism (that is, high standards dictated by the expectations of others) and a 16 percent increase in other-oriented perfectionism (perfectionistic standards that are applied to other people).”

What is Perfection Anyway? And Why Should We Be Concerned?

Perfection is a state of completeness, flawlessness, or supreme excellence. It struck me how unattainable perfection is when I read this definition. Instead of comparing what I have done with others, I need to be proud of what I have accomplished and celebrate it.

According to Forbes Magazine in their article “Why Being a Perfectionist Can Hold You Back”, they have outlined 10 negative potential impacts from perfectionism:

Were you taught to be perfect or brave?

I saw this Ted Talk about how we’re raising our girls to be perfect, and we’re raising our boys to be brave, from Reshma Saujani, the founder of Girls Who Code. It received over 4 million views. I am sharing the link with you here in case you haven’t seen it yet.

One example in the video is from a hiring study that Hewlett-Packard did on the likelihood of a woman or man applying for a role. Men will apply when they have 60% of the requirements and figure out the rest when they get the job. Women think they need to have 100% of the requirements to apply and if they don’t have all of them, will not apply at all.

Think about this for yourself. Is this messaging something that you grew up with and have thought about in your career when applying for roles? If you have family members or children applying for roles, are they doing the same?

Is it Worth It to Be Perfect?

There are usually two kinds of thinking when it comes to perfection. There are those who will work at things until they feel that everything is perfect while others are willing to say that it is “good enough.” What determines that thought process for people? It may be how they have always done things and perfection was expected of them. It could also be tied to what they are working on and whether perfection is needed. There are times when it is needed and also times when it isn’t worth the additional time and effort to make it perfect. It is a judgment call that we all have to make to spend our time in the best way.

What is more important in your life? Perfection or Happiness?

Do you remember when you were little and you decided that you wanted to do something? Did you care if others thought it was a good idea? Did you ask someone if it was okay to do it? No, you just jumped in and made it happen, right?

When did it become more important for us to believe what others thought of us vs what we thought about ourselves? People are so quick to judge anyone who doesn’t meet their idea of perfection. It is exhausting trying to live up to those unrealistic expectations!

Perfection is an illusion. If you want to work towards it and it motivates you, that is fine. However, there is a big difference between striving for perfection vs demanding it of yourself and others. What if you did what you wanted to do without worrying about what others thought…just like you did when you were a kid? Give yourself permission to let go of being perfect. Feel how much happier and empowered you are when you don’t worry about that stuff anymore!

Listen to the words you are using with others or the self-talk that is going on in your own head. Are you putting this expectation of perfection on yourself, your co-workers, friends, family or children?

Isn’t it time we stop using perfection as a measure of success and worth?