Historically, the word legacy is descended much
as much of the western civilization is, for or for ill, from a Roman word. It
is descended from the Latin word for ‘legatus’ that is to say; to delegate a
task to someone, or more famously a member of Rome’s near invincible armies
that conquered Europe before, Europe knew it was Europe. From the root word;
Legate. From this the word transformed, into the word that came to mean to send
an ambassador, give one’s last will to someone. It is a complicated term, and
one that has in some ways grown far, far less and far more complicated in
nature.
From the Latin word, to delegate a task to, or
to send an ambassador, or to later leave something behind for someone in one’s
will, we now have the idea of legacy derived from the French word ‘légacie’.
Quite why, such a minor if military and clerical based term and concept, has
come to occupy so much of our thinking, so much of what we are, is one of
history’s great ironies and mysteries all at once.
But like it or not, what separates us from
animals, from the rocks and plants and cells beneath our feet, in our skin and
all around us, is our ability for forethought. It is this ability to think
ahead, that has been one of the greatest gifts and curses placed upon humanity.
But a legacy is more than a mere thought, more than a mere object you might
leave behind you, it is more than a mere concept.
In the middle-ages, kings left nations to their
sons or grandsons, in Rome fortunes were left behind to heirs or heiresses, in
the far east, armies and power was left to ‘worthy’ heirs. With the question
being; what do we leave behind us today? What do we leave, to our children, to
our brothers, sisters, cousins, lovers, friends and other important kin?
As a nation, or as a people, we leave a
cultural heritage, a kind of memory of the times we lived in, for some, the
legacy will be grander than others. One could just look at what George Lucas or
say Tolkien left behind, and say ‘they left the modern epic behind’ in the six
Star Wars movies, and in the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit tales. But there is
something more at stake here; as a people we must leave behind something far
more majestic.
As we speak, we are killing our planet, killing
our children. We must confront the reality, where once we were a blessing for
this planet; with our proud monuments, our pyramids, our cathedrals, our great
shrines. Certainly, not all was perfect, but in building such grandiose
monuments, we weren’t harming our mother, our planet. We were harming
ourselves, and needed to grow up from that, but now we have not only continued
to harm one another, but have turned upon the planet that nurtured us. It must
come to an end, our legacy not just to future generations, must be more than a
dying world and a divided series of states on the verge of war.
What the answer is, to the modern problems, I
don’t know. All I know, is that windmills, diplomacy, stronger, more unified
economies these can be built on smart, savvy decisions. On unity, on brothers
and sisters coming together, for black people, and Native people, and Arabic,
and Hispanic, and homosexual, transsexual, and Irish, French, Chinese,
Japanese, and Scottish, and English, and atheists, Catholics, Protestants,
Muslims, Hindu, Buddhists, Shintoist and all people can work together, can
funnel their energies into, through and towards one another. It isn’t simply a
pipe dream, it has happened. It is how the economy was rebuilt, how some
countries thrived and united over centuries, to create the great nations of our
age, and how we have come so far.
As to the issue of personal legacy. It isn’t a
clear-cut question, not something that can be answered instantly without
thought, with some claiming they could answer such a question without any
difficulty. Whoever they are, I greatly envy them. As a suicide survivor, as a
writer, and as a man I greatly envy but also commend those that can answer that
question. With the issue more than one that one must ask oneself, one must
wonder will that legacy, will that reputation, the love felt by those around
oneself be properly understand, will the good in you be remembered? Or will the
bad, the petty acts, the selfishness of the smaller moments that haunt you
every moment, every day, and that keeps you up at night, and makes you think
the worst of yourself, be what people think of, when you are remembered?
In truth, I don’t think there is a clear
answer, the Beethovens of this world, those who leave the greatest music in
history, yet are vilified for things outside their control, or because the
world listened to the stories of those who hated him, rather than his story,
are a frightening reminder of the wrongness of those around us. But with that
said, one must remember, how those such as Peter Cushing for example is
remembered; as a devoted husband, a remarkable intellect and kindly person by
nature.
What is legacy? I’m not sure, yet I do know, it
is what you leave behind for good or for ill, and it is but a part of you. It
isn’t something you can own, it isn’t something you can claim will be unmarred,
isn’t something that is perfect. Yet, it can be one of the most beautiful or
ugly things that we have. But it can like love or like all other things in
life, be built one stone, one step, one decision at a time.
As a suicide survivor, and as someone who once
battled with self-loathing of the worst sort, I can vouch for this. It is my
hope, my most heartfelt desire; to leave a legacy of writing, of art and of
good. Because in truth, all we can do is build our future and the time after
our death, one decision at a time.
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