A few years ago I was a wife, mother to a teenager and business woman. My husband and I owned two successful businesses and I owned a belly dance business. I was running three businesses and I was constantly rushed and pushed and stressed. There was never enough time in the day to do “all the things!”
I ran from here to there just trying to keep up. A typical day would include me filling in for a sick wait staffer at our diner, running to the store when we ran out of tomatoes, paying the meat guy and the produce guy, answering the phone and emails, running our rock and gem store in the afternoons and teaching belly dance in the evenings. Fortunately we ate at the diner but I still had all the other household chores.
I worked seven days a week and usually 10–14 hours a day.
One day I looked at my life and thought, “This isn’t my life; I’m living someone else’s life!”
All I ever wanted to do was be a writer but my day was filled with demands. How did I become a business woman and what was I going to do to slow down and do something for myself?
I’m an introvert and I was constantly on demand and among people. I needed my own space and I needed it for my own sanity. Introverts need time alone to recharge but extroverts benefit fromt their own space too.
The first thing I did was create an altar space in the corner of our living room. I put some of my Goddess statues on it and some crystals and a candle. It’s beauty brought me stress relief and even on my busiest days it brought me a sense of calm.
Next I commandeered an entire room. I filled it with beauty. There were crystals everywhere, beautiful tapestries and pillows and a rocking chair right under the window. Even if I only had five minutes I could go in there, close the door, sit in my chair and breathe.
Having my own space gave me solace. No one else went in my room, not because I forbade it, but because it was filled with me and didn’t have any draw for my masculine husband and son.
Now you hear about man-caves and she-sheds. Someone is making bank on my idea!
It doesn’t matter if you are male or female, you need your own space filled with only your energy and your things, things that bring you joy.
It can start small, a corner of a room. You might make an altar like I did or have a small desk where you can sit and write.
Make time each day to sit in your space and tell your family members you are off limits during that time. Maybe it’s only five minutes, but it’s your five minutes!
Personal spaces I’ve seen include screened porches, garages, kitchen counters and even bathroom counters. Not everyone has a whole room. One friend built a platform in her yard with a comfortably chair and side table for her cup of tea. She adorned it with potted plants and hung lights around it. It’s a beautiful personal space to sit and read or watch a dragon fly.
You need a personal space so that you have a place that is just for you to take a break from the world. As you enter your space imagine leaving the rest of the world behind and just breathe. You can write, read a book, play a computer game, meditate or just sit and stare at a candle.
It doesn’t matter what you do in your space. What matters is that it’s always there waiting for you for when you need it. You can be stressed to the max sitting in a boring meeting at work and imagine your space waiting for you and it will help you get through.
It works. Having my own space helped me deal with crushing stress and I’m sure it made me nicer to be around. It was also fun deciding how to create it and what to put in it.
So think about having your own little corner of the world, a place that is all about you and start creating it.
You deserve it!
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