Running Sentences

I’ve been living my life like I am the run on sentences that I simply cannot strike from my writing.
Words flood from my lips in rapid succession, spilling off my tongue, much the same as the way waves crash over and on top of each other.
Maybe that’s it, maybe I’m drowning in all of the things I need to say before I can no longer speak:
1.) I’m sorry I’ll never be what you want me to be.
2.) You don’t need to keep reminding me of the skeletons in my closet, they are the dead weight that I carry on my shoulders each time I try to please you, knowing very well I never will... not with these skeleton hands coiling around my throat to choke out my crying for someone to say, “I love you.”
3.) When I was little I wanted to go to the circus, but now I’m living as the safety net underneath everyone. They fall back on me only when they are unsteady, but spend the rest of their time believing they are above me, blaming the wind that pushed them down rather than thanking me for being there.
4.) Three years ago I got writer's block trying to write a suicide note.
5.) When I look at water all I can think of is dying.
6.) The college I plan on going to is lakefront property, is that a coincidence?
7.) I’m very opinionated but also have social anxiety which makes for a lot of awkward situations.
8.) Two weeks ago I told my ex-boyfriend that he was still my best friend and he told me he really cares about me.
9.) I’ve played the same video game seven times in the last two months instead of doing anything productive because I like the choices.
10.) I can’t imagine myself as an adult because I never thought I would live even this long.
I use run on sentences as exercise for my tongue, twisting and curling my words to try to make this hem last forever because words are all I have to give anymore.
I’ve taken myself apart piece by piece and I gave each part away on busy street corners, left on doorsteps. Each with signs reading, “Take me, please use me, make me beautiful again, I want to be something, I want to be a part of something that matters.”
I speak in run on sentences because I can’t keep my thoughts in order long enough to use correct punctuation and who the hell needs correct punctuation when the words you speak hold more meaning than the empty space between sentences.
I use run on sentences in hopes that no one will learn to read between the lines and hear me screaming that I’m drowning, that I’m unhappy, that I’m not okay, that fuck, I’m just not me anymore.
I am a run on sentence.
I just haven’t found the right way to end it yet.