All that's left behind

I know that day, i lost my only friend.
Those voices in your head,
They lied and said you'd be better off dead.
Now I'm screaming,
And you have gone cold.
The only thing numb now is my soul,
Washed with regret of those moments
Having been sitting, coming down right beside you.
I'll never know, how you could have chosen to go
Hurting deep inside, drowning In your own mind
Stuck with all those thoughts, bouncing from low to high,
Now all I can do is cry.
How do I not let this be personal?
Recognition failed, uncertainty at its peak
It'll be another late night bowed to my knees.
Clouded with misjudgment, how could you leave?
Surviving on my own, forced by your hand
Being led astray, id wanted as my plan.
You kicked my defenses down,
Left me with your name carved upon my tongue.
How can i find the phenomenon you've left behind,
Trapped within a paradox of this life.
Impossible, inevitable- were all set to lose.
Belief in the good that may rise,
Shrouded by demons all wanting to die.
Deepening the hole
Engulfed by the flames of pain
How have i not grown tired;
My own soul is now cold,
Filled with the notion, I could not prevent the motion of you taking your life.