People are attached to each other based on their connections and relationships. According to some research, the attachment patterns we develop in early childhood persist throughout our lives. A pattern can either be secure or insecure. If a child grows with consistency, safety, and reliability, they will likely have a secure attachment style.
People can have a secure attachment style or any of the three insecure attachment styles (avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized). You can consult an attachment psychotherapy session to learn about insecure attachments and develop more secure connections by changing interaction patterns to cope with an insecure attachment style.
Insecurity Patterns
Those having difficulty processing their attachment styles can contact psychotherapy in London from the best online therapy in UK. When a person develops an insecure attachment style, it takes three forms: avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized.
Avoidant: People with an avoidant attachment style often have a dismissive attitude, shun intimacy, and find it challenging to reach out to others when needed.
Ambivalent: People with ambivalent attachment styles are often viewed as "clingy" or "needy" as they need constant reassurance and validation. They are often preoccupied and anxious.
Disorganized: People with disorganized attachment patterns usually had a traumatic childhood or experienced extreme inconsistency as a child. People suffering from disorganized attachments do not have avoidant and ambivalent attachments; instead, they lack coping strategies and are unable to cope with life.
Work on yourself to heal insecure attachments
Consider the below tips to get help forming relationships if you often form unhealthy attachments:
Identify your attachment style
By being self-aware of your attachment style, you will know more about unhealthy thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Try exploring some instances where you've attached your self-worth to people, organizations, jobs, material objects, or anything else.
Have a therapy session
Having an attachment psychotherapy session or working with a therapist can help you bring some changes to your attachment style and form more secure relationships in the future. A mental health professional will help you find the root cause of your unhealthy or insecure attachments and how they affect your adult life. Here, emotionally focused therapy, or EFT, is effective while working on unhealthy styles of attachment.
Focus on self-discovery and growth
You can define your identity outside your relationship by exploring your values, needs, and beliefs. You can support your healing process by developing self-respect and awareness. The below exercise will help you power your journey of self-discovery:
· meditation
· Identifying self-sabotaging behaviors
· setting boundaries
· Practicing intentional living
· grounding exercises
· Journaling with prompts
Tips for working on your relationships through attachment psychotherapy
These tips may help you if you are in a significant relationship, whether it's a romantic partnership, a family relationship, or a friendship:
Identifying each other's attachment style
Start by identifying each of your attachment styles and how they're related to each other. Discuss the differences (if any), and navigate yourself to more significant bonds and what you're expecting from each other.
Making boundaries
You can work together with your partner to set boundaries that can help you both to retain a sense of self while feeling safe to attending your own needs. Boundaries can be established by identifying the behaviors you won't tolerate and explaining how you feel about them.
Improve communication
Openness and honesty are necessary for any relationship. Taking the pledge to be fully present and openly communicate with the other person can help address any challenges you have in your relationship while also feeling safe and supported. Furthermore, that will prevent endless arguments that have the potential to damage the bond and cause emotional insecurity.
Let go
If you're unable to find a way to manage or solve the unhealthy or insecure dynamics in your relationship, it would be better to step out and end the connection. Start exploring yourself.
Seek professional support
You can consider going for a couple or family psychotherapy in London to explore the dynamics of a relationship. Mental health professionals can assist you in expressing your feelings, identifying behaviors that may be harmful, and developing skills to deal with these issues.
The Bottom Words
The early attachments you make with your caretakers often have an impact on how you navigate your adult relationships. If your parents consistently met your needs when you were a baby, you likely grew up with a safe and healthy attachment style.
You might have formed an uncomfortable or avoidant attachment if they weren't consistent with your care or didn't attend to your emotional needs. Because of the suffering they might cause you, these attachments are seen as unhealthy.
However, it is possible to change your attachment patterns and heal or break off painful relationships. Beginning with self-awareness, it may continue with boundaries, self-care, and expert assistance.
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