Do people reallynotice good manners? You bet they do. Even though lifestyles are more informal and relaxed in this new millennium, good manners are appreciated.

Polite language, cell phones off, holding the door, a thank you note, a smile — these are just a few favors people like.

Make no mistake about it. Your manners — how you present yourself and behave throughout your life — are a very big part of your personal and professional image. Good manners contribute to a positive first and lasting impression in social and business situations. They advance your reputation.

Virtually everyone has felt uncomfortable, insecure or embarrassed at some time by not knowing how to behave in a particular situation. Some may even refuse to participate when they feel this way. Virtually everyone of every age would prefer to feel comfortable, confident and competent throughout their day. These feelings only come with knowledge and practice.

Knowing the rules or guidelines of good manners helps you to relax, to feel confident and capable. Practicing them allows you to appear comfortable and competent and builds self-respect in the process. You can get on with your day.

Knowing and practicing good manners is not a matter of vanity, snobbery or trying to impress. Nor is it a sign of weakness, as some would have us believe. It is simply a matter of being kind and sensitive to the needs of others, of creating a considerate, gracious and respectful atmosphere.

Respect is at the heart of good manners. All good manners are based on thoughtfulness for others and respect for them as individuals of equal value. It's the essence of the Golden Rule — "Do Unto Others." An update may be appropriate, the so-called Platinum Rule — Treat others the way they'd like to be treated.

Practicing good manners makes life happier and more enjoyable for everyone because of the courtesy and respect shown to each other. In today's stress-filled world, coupled with the ups and downs inherent to everyday life, it is very nice to experience pleasantries. Good manners are said to be two-thirds common sense and one-third kindness. Experiencing a moment of pleasant kindness can be uplifting, both for you as the practitioner and for the receiver. Respecting others is truly empowering.

There can be differences between social and business office etiquette. Unlike social manners, business manners take into account the pyramid of authority and efficiency on the job. It is not necessary, for example, to stand and shake hands every time someone enters your office. That would be disruptive and slows down your work.

On the other hand, no matter how tired you might be, or abrasive a client might be, professionals are urged to always practice good manners. An environment in which people treat each other with kindness and consideration is certainly one in which a client enjoys doing business.

In a social setting, it is common practice for the women seated in a group to remain seated and shake hands with a newcomer, while the men are expected to stand up and shake hands. In a business setting, however, both women and men are expected to stand and greet the newcomer.

Manners are becoming more "genderless" in today's workplace. Since manners are constantly evolving, it is important to keep current and learn the new rules.

There are hundreds of changing situations that confront us during our lifetime, with rules and guidelines for nearly every one. There is no way we can keep track of them all. Therefore, keep a large, comprehensive, updated etiquette book on a shelf for ready reference.