5 Reasons Why All Children Need Good Manners

Please. Thank you.

Simple right?

For so many parents, teaching their children to say “please” and “thank you” is an afterthought, something drilled into their own habits during childhood. For others, it can be a painstaking process if “minding your manners” wasn’t a priority from toddlerhood.

My mother recently stayed a week with us to visit the grandchildren and she was pleasantly surprised at how well-mannered our children are. Their teachers in preschool have echoed my mother’s sentiments in the past, but it wasn’t something that truly registered with me until she mentioned it.

Thanks, Mom and Dad! Or as my 3-year-old would say: “Tankuuuun!”

Our parents teach us manners, which we pass onto our own children, and so on down the line. Did my kids begin life with “please” and “thank you” spilling out of their mouths (like other projectiles)? Of course not! My wife and I are constantly reminding them to be polite (I’ll get to this in a bit).

So why are manners imperative in young children? What makes it so important to say “please,” “thank you,” open a door, keep the elbows off the table, take a hat off indoors, or lend a helping hand? Here are five reasons why:

1. Gratitude vs. Entitlement

For children, teaching them to be grateful for what they receive and not expect it is a daily battle. My wife and I are no different with our two littles. Making them realize they can’t have everything they ask for, or making them work for it to begin with, helps with this process. It’s the first step.

2. Manners show respect

In a world that breeds self-absorbed bullies who show no remorse for treating those around them like dirt, and are rarely held accountable for their actions, I feel teaching my kids to have manners is a way to fight back. Teaching my children to respect those around them is a big priority. My friend Chuck always used to say: “Kill them with kindness!”

3. Making a good impression

First impressions are everything, and although most children ages 3 to 7 are not required to make a good impression, they will one day. Why not teach them now?

4. Stand out from the crowd

Shaking hands, making eye contact when speaking with someone and addressing them as Mr. or Ms. may be old school, but in this instance, it’s still cool.

I’ve been teaching my 5-year-old son A.J. to shake hands in recent months, and he’s starting to get the concept. He also has trouble making eye contact when either having a conversation, or when we’re speaking to him sternly. He’s shy, but I continue to make it known to him how important these things are.

5. Making people feel appreciated

This goes back to showing respect to all people, but even more important is making others feel they are respected. Manners accomplish that.

So how do we as young parents accomplish all of this? It’s simple. Practice what you preach.

My wife and I try to be as well-mannered as possible, and it rubs off on the children. They’ll mimic behavior, so why not display it with the best intentions? Of course we’re not always perfect, we get out of line, but we are there for each other as a family, and the children know that.

And as for constantly reminding our kids to say “please” and “thank you,” my wife had a good point: Don’t always step in, let the children shine on their own!