Sushi

 And i can tell you the grass isnt greener on the other side. And im haunted by the crew on the swingset. They surround him from behind
 each standing taller than they would if they stood where i stood.
They face judgement another day, today is mine and i linger not my eyes to him as i know
He sits omnisously on the swing from my childhood.
Childhood where i ran free in the
Grass is all i see
I linger not my eyes to him as i imagine myself
Elsewhere was a book I read once
About where we grow young
After passing, the grass
I see more grass
It never ends in my mind
This forboding green.
I've kneeled and I'm frightened that i dont know if I should beg for forgiveness
Or demand it.
Where was it that I saw you last,
Were you present
I may have heard your words from a long way off
Off in the mountians, upside down through a black hole and down the hallway of our apartment that I was in love with more than you.
You are sitting tall in front of me on this swing set where I know you've never sat.
How did I let you hold me again?
You are not God!
No matter how much you believe in him.
Doubt will tell you he's not here.
Just as you're not here because right now I am sleeping
I dont feel you
I feel sheets
I dont feel the grass
I feel the dog at my feet
Im not in your arms
Im here inside my bed
And id rather be dead
Than in your grasp...
Yet, you are here from the past
And I implore to explain
Recognition in your eyes,
As I lower my plane.
Epiphany hits
You weren't a game.
Let me tell you,
After extricating myself from your clutches,
I told everyone of the cold that followed your words
And your bitterness spread like coffee over bread,
Fusty and mushy and moldy.
Afraid of your made-up features,
That I was sure existed.
I'm all grown up
I tell myself, I know, I know,
That what I know
Was stretched out of proportion,
Enough taffee pulled to never ship my body
Into the space next to yours,
Because I was unhappy.
But as I watch this white boy in too much red
Liberate himself from the monologues in his head in front of you,
I see
You're a human being.
The grass is as green over here
As it was over there.