I got asked this very same question everywhere I go "How old are you? 12? 16? 17?" I'm 22 and I have to show my ID everywhere I go.
Before I was so happy being told I look like a kid because I never looked in the mirror, I was afraid to see my reflection as much as I was afraid to hear my own voice. As time goes by, I get a little bit frustrated when I see people my age looking classy and sophisticated and then entering the corporate industry looking young and innocent doesn't really do good at me at all. That's when I learned to looked in the mirror, tried the idea of fixing myself but it won't do any good. I still look young no matter.
Another thing is I was getting devastated because I thought life was getting harsh on me and I barely know what to do and where will I be or what path should I take. I have this dreams and the path that I plan to take began to have sets of detours and I feel like I'm going to get lost and I just want to stay where I am and get stuck whenever, I keep on saying adulting was difficult especially for a kid in the real world.
Also, I was a hopeless romantic. And in this world of pulled out lines about loneliness and desperation, you just want to belong.
And then I met you. At a young age you really know what you're doing. Being in the same age as mine you have done a lot. You told me that "Adulting is easy when you know how to play it right." I asked how but you never responded back then finally when I woke up the next morning something happened. I tried to focus on priorities, organization, matters at hand, and urgent tasks. For the first time in forever It actually felt good to accomplish something in a very organized manner especially when you're head is in the game. I found out that the key to adulting is not giving a sh*t or a single fvck to what weighs you down. A single setback can lead to a greater comeback, there will always be a way no matter how lost you are. No matter how difficult you just have to take a step back, recover your breath and let things guide you through the way. It doesn't matter what you look like but it matters on how you carry and present yourself.
You also told me that "Timing is Everything". And yes it does, Everyone has their own timezone and pace. There might be people who have a faster pace than yours but it doesn't mean you're late. We don't need to rush ourselves to caught up with them. We will eventually do the things we're suppose to be and we're meant to be, maybe not immediately but it will come in a way we didn't expect but in a way it should be.
You also taught me that sometimes crush can be unrequited. You can love people the way you want to but it doesn't mean they have to love you back. There are people who may have love you too but you're not also willing to love them back. Love is not something to be force out of a person. It will come naturally in time. You may break your heart multiple times but it doesn't mean you can't go on with life. You will. Even if you'll be bleeding inside. You don't have to rush relationships. It will come in time. Focus on yourself. On growing independently. Enjoy yourself. Go out on dates. Hangout. Practice. Just never forget your values. At the end of the day, The heart never forgets who it belongs to. It will always return back to what it feels like home.
It doesn't matter what job you're working for or how nice your career is or how many digits your salary is, the very important thing in life is you're working on a good positive environment and you're enjoying yourself every step of the way. Going to work doesn't have to feel like an obligation but something you can put your passion within.
So, To you my senpai/oppa I'm really grateful for everything I have learned from you. I don't know when or how but hopefully you could receive this message.
P.S You'll always be my favorite penguin.
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