When parents consider how strong their attachment is with a child they often reflect on how much they love their child or want to be around them. Attachment is not just a matter for the parent but for a child too. We often fail to take a step back and consider whether a child is attached to their parent and if so – how deeply? Without a strong relationship there is little capacity for a parent to harness a child’s instincts to follow, obey, adopt the same values, or seek help from their adults. Instead of being able to lead a child, a parent may face constant eruptions of frustration, resistance and opposition, as well as bossy and commanding behaviour. When assessing how good our relationship is we should consider it through the eyes of our child. The answer for the father who asked me why a child would follow a parent was attachment. It is a child’s love for us that empowers us in our caretaking role. You cannot truly care for a child who has not given their heart to you.