When I closed my eyes, I saw you….
I saw you clapping your hands and dancing when I took my first steps.
I saw you teaching me to flap imaginary wings as I wore my fancy fairy dress….
I saw you walking with me, down to our school
I saw you playing pranks with me and making me look like fool….
I saw you making kites and flying them with me
I saw you tearing fresh, ripe fruits , climbing up the tree….
I saw you picking for me wild flowers
Sharing with me, to play, your most favourite toy-cars….
Showing with great excitement, your latest discovery
Be it just a dancing butterfly or a buzzing honey-bee.
I saw you trying to make silly grimaces
Every time you found me with gloomy faces
Leaning down beside me and wiping way my tear
Trying to calm me down when you yourself were in fear.
Fighting for me with those naughty street-boys and returning with bruise
Surrendering to mom’s scolds although it was me who broke the vase
I saw you burying yourself in a world of comics
Surprising me every time with newer magic tricks
I saw you sacrifice your precious savings
Breaking your piggy-banks and buying my favourite things
I saw the sparks in your eyes whenever you made me smile
I saw you growing taller and handsome each day, in your own different style.
I saw you returning home one day in a black robe and graduation cap
I saw you scuffling with me that day and giving me a light , friendly tap.
I saw you turning the kitchen into a mess , trying to bake
I saw you returning home that day with my birthday cake.
I saw you lighting up the candles for me
I saw you pray for me always happy-to-be.
And so many sweet memories I kept seeing, whenever I thought of you.
So many dreams I dreamed, wishing each of them to be true.
I open my eyes, watching the cake and the candle’s light,
I try to see but the rivulets in the eyes blur my sight.
’Tis your birthday again but you are never here
Sometimes I wonder if you can see how much I care.
Sometimes I wish I could bring you back from your grave
So much I wish to see you once, so much your brotherly love I crave!
How much I wish that you were here today, alive!
To be with me and to complete my life …
I blow out the candles, the card in my hand, dying to say
“Happy birthday vaia (brother) ! Missing you so much today! ”
[written on my brother's would-be 25th birthday were he alive. He died in his sixth month from cholera,long before I was born.]