How to Strengthen Your Self-Image

Within this final section let’s discuss some ideas to help you strengthen your self-image. Some of these suggestions are quite self-explanatory. In fact, many of them are simply either decisions you make or they are slight shifts in the way you think about yourself, think about your life, or how you approach circumstances. Other suggestions will require a little conscious effort and self-discipline. So all-in-all there is nothing complex here. Strengthening your self-image is simply about doing the small things consistently over time that will make a big difference in the long-run.

Don’t Allow Society to Define You
Many people walk through life as a passive bystander. They accept how things are and allow society to influence/manipulate them into thinking and doing things a specific way. Yes, they have an opinion, but they rarely stand up for what they believe in, and instead allow society to shape their attitudes and opinions. And because they are at the mercy of society they consistently sway with the wind.

They experience a roller-coaster ride of emotions because their internalized mental picture/idea of themselves shifts and changes depending on what is happening around them. They are therefore rarely satisfied and never completely fulfilled because they are always comparing themselves to others and trying to live up to societal expectations.

We often get stuck in this scenario because we regrettably take responsibility for other people’s problems. This is harmful because, for the most part, we are unable to control or influence these problems, and yet we lay the burden on our own shoulders. At times this is not even of our own doing. Other people place the burden of their problems on our shoulders and we suffer as a result. It really shouldn’t be this way. Everyone should take responsibility for their own problems. In fact, you must be the one to take responsibility for your own choices, health, happiness, finances, relationships and life. Don’t burden others with these things. You and you alone shape your life with purpose, and only in this way will you gain the personal power you need to develop a healthy and empowered self-image.

Moreover, it’s important to begin primarily living through our own internalized representation of ourselves and not relying on society to define us. And this, of course, starts with fully understanding and accepting who you are and then taking charge of the mental processes that are running your life. And this is exactly what we went through within the five-step process above.

Don’t Indulge in Self-Judgement or Self-Criticism
When you judge and overly criticize yourself, that is a clear indication that your internal voice is taking over your life. Yes, constructive criticism can be helpful, however, constructive criticism doesn’t leave you with a foul taste in your mouth. It is rather something that leaves you feeling hopeful, optimistic and motivated that you can do better next time. So I’m certainly not talking about constructive criticism. What I am talking about is that type of judgment and criticism that leaves you feeling helpless and deflated. That is the self-talk that it hurting your self-image and depleting your reservoirs of self-confidence.

Instead of judging and/or criticizing yourself, choose to give yourself feedback. Feedback will provide you with an avenue for improvement and will help you to progressively develop the self-confidence you need to build a healthy self-image that allows you to be the best you can possibly be in every situation. After all you are not perfect, and you will make mistakes and fail miserably at times. That’s just part of life. Actually, it’s just part of being human. You are not perfect and you will never be. Accept yourself with warts and all. After all, a healthy self-image always comes through self-acceptance, which of course stems from self-understanding.

Don’t Expect Others to Complete You
When you rely on other people to complete you, you are at that very moment giving away your personal power. Moreover, you are at that moment building your self-image on external factors (people). This might initially make you feel great about yourself and will undoubtedly help you boost your levels of confidence, however, the problem with this is that your self-image is now at the mercy of other people. If one day they tell you they don’t love you anymore, then suddenly you feel unlovable. Or if suddenly they vanish from your life, then all of a sudden there is this empty hole inside that makes you feel somewhat incomplete.

You are not this other person, and they are not you. You are your own individual self and you certainly don’t need other people to complete you. All you need is to gain a deep sense of understanding of who you are. Get to know your strengths and weaknesses. Then take full responsibility and control of your internal habitual patterns, and finally, fully accept that you are complete in your own right.

Yes, other people can add value to your life, but in-and-of-itself you are complete in every way.

All this, of course, doesn’t mean you are a finished product. You’re not. There is much room to grow, develop and evolve in the coming years. However, this growth comes from within and then expresses itself outward in everything you do. And that is the key to developing an empowering mental picture/idea of “you”. It starts from within. It starts with how you see yourself. It starts with building a healthy self-image.

Strengthening Your Self-Image

Always Follow-through with Your Word
Your word must become your law. In other words, the promises you make to yourself you must keep. Promises kept help you create consistency, and you need consistency to build a healthy self-image.

Consistency is important when it comes to building a healthy self-image because a healthy self-image is not something that suddenly fluctuates with the changing winds/opinions. It is something that is steady and steadfast. I’m of course not suggesting that your self-image doesn’t change over time. Of course, it does. You certainly don’t see yourself the same way today as you saw yourself years ago. In fact, you might see yourself very differently in a variety of roles and/or situations. Your self-image is, therefore, fluid, however, it requires consistency and consistency come from your ability to keep your word to follow through and do things a certain way.

A person who doesn’t keep their word (the promises they make to themselves) is often the person who is heavily influenced/swayed by other people and their opinions. When you keep your word you are sending a strong message that you are running your life based on your own feelings and perspectives. You are not swayed by outside circumstances. This, of course, doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind. But that “change of mind” must come from a decision you make from within that is not primarily based on external factors. That is when you know that you are the one in the driver’s seat of your life; that is when you know you are the captain of your own ship.

Build Your Self-Image Upon Strong Foundations of Self-Worth
Finally, a healthy self-image is built upon the strong foundations of a high level of self-worth. Self-worth is of course all about how much you value and regard yourself despite what others might say and/or despite unfavorable circumstances. When you have a high level of self-worth nothing shakes or phases you. Likewise, when you have a healthy self-image you don’t look to outside sources to define who you are.

You and you alone create your own definition of who you are. You and you alone create the impression you have of yourself in each and every situation. Yes, you alone mold and shape the person you are today, and the person you become tomorrow.