How to Build a Healthy Self-Image

Let’s now take a look at a four-step process that will help you build a healthy self-image. This process is closely tied to the process we used for building more self-worth. Because these two are very much related, there will be somewhat of a crossover. Having said that, there are some variations here that will help you dig a little deeper in this area.

Step 1: Explore Yourself
Your first step is to explore who you are and what that means to you. This is an important first step because unless you clearly define who you are, you will never really develop a clear and accurate picture/idea of “you”. Ask yourself:

Who am I?

How am I?

What defines who I am?

How do I see myself?

How accurate is this view?

Is this who I really am? Is it really?

Is this my true self? Or is there something more below the surface?

It is important that you keep digging deeper and deeper using these questions. It’s very much like peeling back the layers of an onion. The surface layers will reveal a fuzzy picture of who you are. However, as you dig deeper and deeper by peeling off more layers you begin to get a clearer picture/idea of yourself. This is why it’s important to periodically question the accuracy of your view. Your goal is to get to the core of who you really are without the need for all those external layers.

Step 2: Take a Personal Inventory
It’s now time to take a personal inventory by listing your positive qualities, goals, passions, and purpose. Ask yourself:

What are my positive qualities? I am… therefore I can…

What do other people say are my positive qualities?

What personal strengths do I have? I am… therefore I am able to…

What goals would I like to achieve?

How could I live with more meaning and purpose?

What does all this mean to me?

Why is all this important?

The purpose of this step is to unlock all the good things you feel about yourself; to unlock all the things you have going for yourself that will now add layers back onto that onion to help form a strong personal impression of who you are today from a bigger picture perspective.

In the previous step, you were removing unnecessary layers to get to the core of yourself. Within this step, you are adding layers to that core to form a definitive and comprehensive picture/idea of yourself at this very moment. And it is, of course, that very picture that forms the foundations of your self-image.

Step 3: Analyze Your Struggles
A little earlier I mentioned how a healthy self-image is primarily based on our own personal feelings and perspectives. In other words, how we think about ourselves as well as the opinions and labels we create are all critical components that go into building a healthy self-image.

A person with a healthy self-image doesn’t rely on outside opinions or circumstances to define who they are. They must instead rely on internal resources for this purpose. It’s therefore absolutely critical that we take personal control of our internal world because it’s the only thing that really matters when it comes to building a healthy self-image.

To get an understanding of this internal world we need to take a look at four key areas. These areas include your critical voice, your unhelpful thoughts, beliefs in the form of labels, as well as incorrect assumptions you might be making about yourself. Here are some questions to help stimulate your thoughts in these areas:

How do I tend to talk to myself throughout the day?

When things go wrong, what’s my internal dialogue like?

Am I mostly critical or encouraging?

Given the outcomes I would like to achieve are my thoughts mostly helpful or unhelpful?

How do my thoughts tend to distort my reality?

How do I tend to label myself?

Are my labels helpful or unhelpful?

Are these labels rational? Does it even make sense for me to label myself in this way?

What assumptions do I tend to make about myself?

How are these assumptions potentially hurting me?

Working through these questions will effectively help you get a better understanding of how your critical voice, unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions are shaping the picture/idea you have of yourself that effectively builds your self-image.

If you discover that you tend to be overly critical of yourself; that your thoughts tend to be unhelpful; that your labels are negative; and that you tend to make assumptions that lead you astray, then it’s important to work through these areas one by one in order to solidify your self-image.

For instance, if you’re constantly being critical of yourself, then this is an indication that your self-image isn’t as healthy as it could be. It’s therefore important to reel in that critical voice and begin using more encouraging words.

Changing your language patterns in this way will help settle your thoughts and help you think more clearly and effectively. This subsequently means that you will be less likely to make negative assumptions or label yourself in unhelpful ways.

I will provide you with more details on how to strengthen your self-image within the final section of this article — to help you better manage all these areas.

Step 4: Create an Accurate View of Yourself
The final step is to create a more accurate view of yourself that you can use as the foundation for building a healthy self-image. This view of yourself must be built upon all the positive qualities and strengths you outlined in Step 2 of this process. Take those positive qualities and strengths and ask yourself one simple question:

How would I ideally like to be?

Take time to really have a good-long-hard think about this question and answer honestly how you would like to be starting today. There is, of course, no one right answer, but rather a variety of answers that go into building your self-image. Yes, you still have flaws and things that you might be struggling with. Accept these things. They are a part of you in the moment. You can work on improving these areas over time. What’s important here is that you’re honest, genuine, authentic and real. This is who you are and this is how you see yourself with warts and all.

In the end building, a healthy self-image is all about you. It’s all about how you and you alone — without external influences — see yourself. And it is this picture/idea of “you” that is what matters above all else. You are in the driver’s seat here; you alone define how you see yourself, and that’s what counts in the end.