Do you ever argue with your friends and not talk to each other for a long time?

Great. You have come to the right place.

Friendship is tricky — it could be the best thing in the world and other times, it’s the worst thing that makes you lose hope about this world.

Keeping a friendship is hard as keeping an ideal relationship. You deal with people outside your family — where you don’t have any ideas about their values, priorities, past, you name it.

That’s why a lot of arguments happens in friendship — and you end up ignoring each other.

I’ve been arguing a lot with my best friend. Yes, although she is one of my best friend, our three years of friendship has been through a lot — especially since we live a thousand miles apart.

Once, we didn’t talk for a few weeks because of some arguments. Fortunately, after opening up to each other, now we are best friends for life who promise to keep the friendship until death.

Over the years, I learned a few things to save the friendship even through a thousand arguments:

1. Open up about your feelings

No one can understand your feelings if you never talk about them— even if they are your best friends for years.

Most of the time, arguments happen because of miscommunication. You don’t understand why they keep pushing you to do something. Other times, they don’t understand your jokes.

And when they offend you, you choose not to confront them about it — to avoid the arguments.

Mate, it’s totally wrong.

If you don’t like some stuff from your friends, then you need to be honest. It’s not for your own good, but it’s also for them.

Criticism makes people improve themselves as long as they see it as feedback.

2. Do apologize

We make mistakes. People get offended. You know what it means:

An apology is needed here.

An apology seems a simple thing, but trust me, it is easier to say than to do.

People could feel if you are not sincere with it. People wonder if you will make the same mistakes in the future.

They don’t trust you anymore.

Can you get back their trust again? Of course you can, dingus.

With an apology, people know if you want to fix your mistakes — whether they are going to accept the apology or not.

Show them you regret what you did that might have offended them. Give them a reason why it happened.

Ask them if they want to be friends with you again.

3. Give them some time

Does an apology solve all the problems?

No, not yet.

You need to give them some time to think if your friendship is going to be worth their time or not.

Heck yeah, it seems awful, but who the hell in this world wants to have a toxic friendship?

Be patient when waiting for their response. It could take days, weeks, or even a few months. Everyone needs some before making big decisions.

No need to spoil them with cute texts or flowers — unless you want them to hate you more.

When they are ready to start the friendship, they will text you again. Much better if they welcome you with a big hug.

Nothing is better than have a good friendship with supportive friends.

4. Listen to their opinions

Besides lack of communication, a lot of arguments happens because you are not listening to others.

You interrupt them. You lead the answers. You don’t care about their opinions.

Worse — you always want to win the arguments without respecting them.

It seems like small stuff, but no one wants to be interrupted while talking. They want you to listen to their opinion.

Friendship not only needs clear communication, but also a lot of respect.

And even if their opinion is wrong, you can correct them with sharing trusted information. Don’t mock them for their wrong information.

After all — we are only humans who make mistakes and can learn from them.

5. Reminisce

Whether you have known them for five years, ten years, or even just a few months, you have some good memories where you shared the laughter and tears together.

Reminiscing over good memories could remind them of the reason they befriended you. Although it may be NSFW, reminiscing some bad stuff is also fine.

With the bad stuff, you can bring up some issues that make them distant. You both can analyze that problem together, then you can ask them about the friendship.

If it was your mistakes, promise them you won’t do the same mistake in the future. Another way is if you both realize that it was their mistakes which make you both distant, then it’s your time to accept their apology.

It’s never too late to forgive someone who truly means it.

6. See the changes

After the apology, there would be some changes to your friendship. They might be talking to you again every day. Another possibility is they would be more distant for some reasons and somehow — it seems to not make sense.

In the end, it’s their decision and you have to respect them. Even if the friendship ends, you will learn some lessons from it and not do the same mistakes in other friendship.

Final Thoughts

Like a relationship, there is never going to be a perfect friendship, either. A fun fact about friendship is you may argue a lot with them, too.

And when the problems happen, can you both work together as a team, to solve the problems together?

Mending a broken friendship could become stressful because it could need a damn lot of time and effort.

So, before you do all those stuff, you need to be honest with yourself when answering these questions:

“Are they a person who is going to support me to make my dreams come true?”

“Are they a person who is going to underestimate my dreams?”

“Are they a person who treats me as well as I do to them?”

If they are a person who supports you to achieve your dreams, then congratulations. It’s going to be worth your time to mend the friendship and have them as a best friend for life.

But if they are someone who underestimates your dreams, then you are better to move on from them. You need someone who can support your dreams besides yourself.

You never have to beg for friendship. There will be another friendship to replaced the failed one.