“I can’t help anymore.
The words are convincing
And her eyes show the same message
Especially after she hustles me out of her cottage
Like a pesky kitten
She no longer wants to keep.
So I am left to stand outside her house
Watching greedily as she welcomes
I envy them, for I
Used to be
She would welcome me in
But eventually seemed more reserved
In the welcoming.
As I gaze in her windows
Watching her love
Fury wells up in me.
I decide I want no part of this,
Even if she were to
I do not accept
So I run.
And everything that reminds me
My bare feet slapping the dusty road
That leads to the sea.
I turn off the road and begin to climb.
The rocks dig into my feet, making them bleed, but I bite my lip
And press on.
What have I done?
Why has she turned me away?
Were all the times before fake?
Did she never really mean it at all?
I angrily swipe away a tear that has snuck down my cheek.
I will NOT cry.
Finally, I crest the top.
Somehow, my feet have led me to
Why here? I don’t want to talk to Him!
He gave her to me, and then took her away.
No, I decide, I don’t even want to look at Him.
But somehow, I can’t make myself leave the hilltop.
I limp over to a cluster of boulders
Like my thoughts
And the people in
Finally, I bow my head and
Engulfing me in His strong arms,
Pulling me close.
I let Him draw me in
And I cry into His
I feel His tears
“Abba, why are you crying?”
“Dear One, I feel your sorrows. I carry your burdens, you know.”
Tears stream down His face freely, mirroring my own.
“Someone else left, Abba! No one ever stays, even when I think it’s real.”
“Dear child, I never leave. Some I place in your life only for a time.
But I will always stay.”
I gaze into His deep, gentle eyes and see He is not lying. He cannot lie.
And I believe Him.
I let Him pull me close once more.
Resting my head on his chest, I listen to his heart beat.
I fall asleep in His arms, listening to the sound of One Who will