Through one of the darkest periods in my life, in the beginning, I was alone to face Hell. Not just physically but mentally. Within a span of 6 months, I befriended the bottle or bottles. I binge drank.
Being a 2nd shift supervisor, repetitive duties like making the food, confronting "regulars", and up-keeping became boring.
No thrills or changes of scenery existed. The only meaningful thing was the platonic relationships I had with co-workers. We were a "family" --I am still proud to say that.
Aside from the mundane atmosphere of a job I had for 3 years, my transition to the bottle was smooth. I can't really put a finger on how it started.
Bi-week liquor transactions happened after work. One bottle turned to two. And two magically turned to four. From bottom shelf vodka to moderately priced scotch, I guzzled it down like water. It was common, for me, to pop open a top while playing on my PS3. Temporarily losing myself felt great. If only I knew what was in store for me.
The real Hell began when I decided to ease up on the binge drinking. When the 3rd day arrived, all Hell broke loose. Forgetfulness, thinking gaps, sporadic crying for no reason. Not too mention racing thoughts pounding every second. Restlessness tangled with frustration. All of these occurred daily for the recovery 6 months.
I sought help from a local doctor. His prescription: a psychologist for drug and alcohol abuse. I showed up. We talked. I completed the tasks he assigned. I basically had to wait patiently, I still struggle with this decision and action, for my brain to correct itself and awaken from being numb.
While waiting, I aimed on getting a distraction. This distraction was living. It demanded attention. I had to feed it. Care for it. Love it.
I couldn't get a dog at the time. So, instead, I bought a feline. For the record, I didn't choose my grey tabby, she chose me; an extension of a paw from behind a barred crate, I knew I found my partner in crime.
Curling up to me as I wept. Nudging me for pets as I filled with anger and bewilderment. She, Mavis, never asked for much. Just me. I have no regrets about purchasing her.
It's been 2.5 years since that dark chapter. I will never relive, by the way. And it's been 3 years since I got her out from that cage.
We are inseparable. I look at her everyday and see my strength to overcome a sinister, destructive liquid.