How to tell if someone is playing mind games with you! The warning signs that you might be with a psychological manipulator and how to see through their cunning tricks
#10. “Different Alone”- One of the tell-tale signs that your friend, family member or partner is using psychological manipulation on you is if they act like a different person when you are in private then they do when you are in public. A manipulator is very aware of public perception and the ways to use this to their advantage. If the person is overly nice to you when others are watching, doing things like opening doors for you or acting extra affectionate, yet is callous or rude to you behind the safety of closed doors it is sure to mess with your head. This can also be displayed at parties or social gatherings, if they seem do everything right or seem extra interested when your friends or family around but don’t do any of these things in private they are most likely doing this to keep up appearances so that it makes it harder for you to get help from your other loved ones. In the worst cases they could even turn the people closest to you against you by incepting the thought that “He or she couldn’t possibly be like that”, in effect making you look like the crazy one.
#9. “Guilt Trip”-Guilt-tripping or playing the sympathy card is a go-to tactic for manipulators. It is extremely hard to resist giving in to someone who says that if you don’t do something for them that you are hurting them. One of the ways people commonly guilt-trip others is by seemingly helping you in the present so that they can use it against you in the future, saying things like “remember, I helped you, so you have to do this for me”. Manipulators really like being with people who are over-sympathetic and may tug at their heart-strings by exaggerating physical ailments or sickness to get out of doing something. You can tell they are using this tactic if it only seems to happen when the activity or task that needs to be done isn’t benefitting them at all. For example, they get sick or their back goes out every-time it’s time to clean the house but then their friend calls to hang out and they start to feel better. It is very easy to get caught in the guilt-trip-trap in times of crisis. If early on in your relationship with someone they come through in a big way when when you really need them, you could get stuck paying for it for the rest of your life. The situation is kinda like a dark version of the common sitcom plot where someone saves someone’s life and in return the person whose life was saved becomes their slave or butler for life. If a person truly cares about you they won’t hold these types of things over your head, they do it because they want to.
#8. “Overwhelming Details”-Some of the best psychological manipulators are ones that can put on the facade of being intellectual. Even if they aren’t necessarily more intelligent than someone else they are very good at seeming like it, either applying arbitrary facts to a situation or just making up facts. A person that can convincingly lie about details or pretend to be an expert is very hard to argue with because it always comes down to them having more facts than you do.
Say for instance you want to go on a camping trip with your friends or family but your significant other doesn’t want you to go, they may try and overwhelming you with facts about how dangerous camping is to deter you from going. Though this might be a reasonable fear for person, a psychological manipulator will be unrelenting in this until you change your mind, whereas a person who actually cares can overcome their fears because they know it’s something you want to do. Manipulators can also try to use their knowledge or fake facts to belittle you in public by making you feel intellectually inferior and destroy your confidence so that you won’t try to argue in public in the future.
#7. “Hurrying”- Being rushed into making decisions can result you having to trust another person’s advice that may not actually be better for you or end up in you not getting what you want. Manipulators are hyper-aware of this, they know that if they hurry someone into making a decision they can greatly influence the outcome. For example, if you are buying a new car with your partner they might suggest you look at the car they that want first and take their time describing how great it is, but then when it’s time to look at the one you want they are in a hurry to leave and may even act like you are taking too long so you are forced to go with their pick. This is a trivial example, but you can see how this type of situation would only be worse and worse the more serious the decision. Manipulators also can use this tactic to try and permanently place themselves as the alpha in a relationship. If they force you into a quick decision and it turns out to be a wrong decision, they can forever hold this against you so that you aren’t allowed to have a full-say in deci
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