Sometimes I lie awake
Tracing the routes and bypasses on my stomach
The jagged curves and
Long highways of my thighs
My body is a map
Waiting
To be wandered through
But you took the car keys from my hand
Clenching the silver metal in the middle of your fists
I said I wanted to drive
Alone
You were not welcome in the car
Steering wheel grasped so hard your
Hands shook
Tinged with bruised purple hues
I am not your pit stop
I wanted control over where you were allowed to go
But you shut me up
So I watched you speed
From the passenger seat window
Strapped
Suffocating
The seat belt was restricting
Much like your hands when
One held mine above my head
Watching you wander through my valley
The road was bumpy
It made me sick
Sometimes I lie awake
Picturing the scenery
It was not
Serene grasslands
Snow capped mountains
Rippling rivers
It was
Darkness
Fear
Pain
Coursing through my soul
Revving like a car engine
You gave me back the map
Wrinkled
Tainted
I couldn't recognize it
The gas signal rang through my small ears
Slammed breaks
Shattering windshield
You took the keys with you
When you got out of the car
I was left alone
Isolated
Deep within myself
No longer recognizable
Sometimes I lie awake
On the brink of metaphorical asphyxiation
Deprived of the road trip I was planning
Instead driven to salty tears by your hollow hands
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