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Relationships Sundays

Immediate Family Relations

Needing Your Mom When You're Sick

There’s nothing quite like your mom when you are under the weather. Even as a fully grown adult I still feel like I need my mom when I am sick! (I’m not talking about a minor cold, I’m talking about being fully down for the count with something really nasty).

My kids (who are still young) were recently both very sick. At the same time they both ended up with a really nasty flu bug. It wasn’t long but it was terrible! For a full 24 hours they both couldn’t even keep water down. They had high fevers and sick stomachs - it was a rough one.

What was almost the roughest part (for me) was that they both had it at exactly the same time. Meaning that they both needed me at the same time. Unfortunately I can only be in one place at a time so it was exhausting trying to bounce back and forth between the two because they both just needed their mom. My kids have an incredible dad too who they love and adore…but when they are sick it’s mom or bust!

I remember being a small kid and just needing my mom to sit with me, help me, and reassure me that everything was going to be ok when I was sick. I know that’s how my kids feel as well. There’s just no one else in the world quite like your mom!

Moms know what you need and when you need it. They know how to comfort you and what you like when you are not well. 

My mom makes the best chicken noodle soup in the world. Every time I’m sick as an adult, I just want that comforting chicken noodle soup because it is familiar. She often still makes it for me if I’m sick because I’m fortunate enough to live very close to her!

When my kids are sick, I am so glad that I’m able to take care of them. It’s such a practical way to show how much I love them. 

Recommended Book

There Are Moms Way Worse Than You

Mar 29, 2022
ISBN: 9781523517947

Interesting Fact #1

This is a no-brainer, but no one is as good at giving advice as the woman who raised you. She not only knows you, but also may be the best inside source to give you advice.

SOURCE

Interesting Fact #2

It's unfortunately inevitable that our hearts will be broken sometime in our adult lives. Whether it's by a best friend or by someone we thought was the one, it's going to be tough to get through

SOURCE

Interesting Fact #3

Regardless of whether they are left- or right-handed, human moms tend to cradle their babies on the left side of their bodies, especially in the early months. This left-handed bias likely has to do with the human brain’s lopsided layout: sensory information on the left side of the body is processed on the right side of the brain. The brain’s right hemisphere is also where emotions are processed, so holding and observing the baby on the left may help transmit social information to the right side more efficiently.

SOURCE

Quote of the day

“Art is the child of nature in whom we trace the features of the mothers face.” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Article of the day - Do You Ever Stop Needing Your Mom?

One summer night I had a dream, and my late mother was there.

She’s been gone almost 20 years, but in my dream she was very much alive, her hair the same reddish-brown tint I remembered growing up. I was hosting a party and noticed that someone had spilled red wine on the carpet. A white carpet.

My dream self stared at the stain, annoyed at this problem I now needed to solve. I felt my throat tighten and the blood in my veins speeding up. But before I could get too flustered, my mom took me aside and calmly explained how to fix the stain. Relief flooded through me as I realized I didn’t need to figure this out on my own: My mom had the answer.

I wanted to keep talking to her, get more advice, feel her soothing words wash over me again. I told her that ever since she’d been gone, worries about cancer had plagued me. “Mom, I think about it every day. As soon as I wake up, it’s the first thing on my mind. It’s the last thought I have before I fall asleep.”

How could I make this situation more bearable? I had to know. Could I somehow banish the fears from my mind? Certainly she had a hack, some clever trick she’d gleaned from her own experience.

My mother listened but said nothing. Her silence weighed on my soul.

In that moment I realized there was, in fact, nothing she could do to shield me from sadness, anxiety, or pain. I’d have to walk my path — whatever it turned out to be — just as she had walked hers.

I woke up with a hollow feeling in my chest. Even in dreams, the time I had with my mother felt too meager, leaving me wishing for more. She’s not here for the little things, like errant wine on the carpet, or the big things, like helping me grapple with my own mortality. I know this; for nearly two decades, I’ve known this. And yet I still can’t fully accept it.

When the dog is destroying the couch, the kids are bickering and I’m exhausted and ready to explode, I long to be able to call my mom, drink coffee with her and laugh. When I’m dealing with another round of medical crapola, my sanity teetering on the edge of a cliff, I try to conjure up my mom’s comforting voice, her sage perspective. But she exists only in my memories, as a ghost whose words play on a loop in my brain, growing fainter and more crackly with the passage of time.

Losing a mother has a specific, lasting impact on mothers. One study of motherless mothers found that they tended to describe themselves more negatively, felt different than other mothers, and were often overprotective and perfectionistic. I can relate: My kids always tease me about being a helicopter parent, and I find myself looking for reassurance in the decisions I make. Parenting without my mother left me wobbly and searching for something to bolster me, to make me feel as rock-solid and capable as I imagine a good mother must be. Over the years, I’ve outsourced my mother’s role somewhat to other people: aunts, older female friends, my therapist.

The irony is that if my mom was here, I think she’d tell me to find that self-assurance on my own. She’d probably chide me a bit for doubting myself, and remind me of all the reasons I have to feel confident.

She’d be right to say these things.

But I don’t think I’ll ever stop needing my mom.

Question of the day - What is one thing your mom did for you when you were sick to help you feel better?

Immediate Family Relations

What is one thing your mom did for you when you were sick to help you feel better?