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Happiness Tuesdays

The Search for Happiness

Contentedness

I am not a very content person.

I tend to always be striving for the next thing without ever stopping to acknowledge my progress and success.

To be honest, I believe that this causes a fair bit of unhappiness in my life because I’m never satisfied with how far I’ve come. It’s not my best quality.

As I’m getting older I am starting to recognize that importance of stopping to celebrate when I reach my goal or when I accomplish something. It makes me reflect on how far I’ve come and what I’ve been able to do.

I am driven by goals and metrics, but if I never stop to look at my progress then it keeps me stuck in a hamster wheel of hustle. It’s not a great way to live.

I also know people who are very content with their lives. Some of these people don’t really set goals and strive to reach them because they are content with things as they are. I think this can be a difficult trait as well because it is easy for contentedness to turn into complacency which isn’t great either.

Learning to be content and yet still being a productive member of society is a balance - either extreme will probably not produce happiness. But that middle ground is the sweet spot!

Recommended Book

The Happiness Advantage

Jun 05, 2018
ISBN: 9780307591555

Interesting Fact #1

Contentment occurs when there is very little difference between the way things are and the way we want things to be.

SOURCE

Interesting Fact #2

From the time we are born we have our own unique set of preferences, standards, and values. At a general level we could say that we all want and need the same kinds of things—food and shelter, for example, as well as physical and emotional warmth. Beyond the general, however, our preferences for how much of any particular want or need is right for us can vary markedly. Different people prefer different food and amounts of food and also prefer different dwellings.

SOURCE

Interesting Fact #3

At times it might seem as though we know what someone else should be doing but, in truth, no one knows enough about the internal organization of another to suggest a particular course of action that will ensure all their internal dials will be at their right settings. People can offer advice and suggestions but it is only the individual who can tell if any particular strategy has the desired effect. In some ways it would be much simpler if we could just reach in and make the adjustments we thought were necessary, but this is impossible. Contentment is something that must be individually achieved and experienced.

SOURCE

Quote of the day

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” ― Mark Twain

Article of the day - Contentment…what is it?

What is contentment in life?

What do do you think when you hear the word contentment? I don’t know about you, but when I hear that word I have a sense of peace. I have a sense of well-being. I have a sense of now.

I envision myself sitting in a quiet place with a cup of hot tea in my hands and being able to contemplate all that is going on around me without stress or worry. Being able to look at my hours, days, and weeks and feel almost as if I got it all together and under control. Almost.

Do you feel that way too?

Now, if your life seems to be totally chaotic and out of control or things aren’t going as you think they should, the thought of being content might be a totally foreign concept, right? Like whoa…that is WAY beyond my mental thinking right now!

So, what is contentment in life…really?

tray with a mug of coffee, magazine and a pink blanket next to it  | what is contentment in life | Positively Jane

Where does it come from? How do you get it? Can you get it? Is it attainable? How can you be content?

First, I need to clear up a popular misconception. Being content does not mean being happy. Finding contentment does not mean finding happiness.

Happiness is totally based on what is around you. Your circumstances. What is happening or not happening. What is going according to YOUR plan. What is not happening at all.

Contentment, on the other hand, is a choice. In spite of those circumstances you CHOOSE to not let them steal your joy. You choose to not let them steal your peace. Instead, you choose to rise above those circumstances. Contentment is one component when choosing to live a joyful life.

You choose contentment. It really is a state of mind. You choose to look at everything around you, and rather than being disgruntled and frustrated…you take a deep breath, relax, and accept things as they are. You let go of how you want them to be different.

Here are 5 things you can do to find contentment in life:

Practice gratitude and thankfulness

  • When you are living a life of gratitude and thankfulness, it is very difficult for all the negativity to intrude. There really is just no room in your thoughts. Looking for a way to crowd out the negativity? Maybe begin a gratitude journal so you can go back and remember.

Live a life of ‘haves'.

  • Rather than looking around you and thinking about all the things you do not have, look around you and find ALL the things that you do have. A house. A phone. Running water. A pen. From the large to the small….all things to be grateful for. If you are still caught up in the ‘not enough' mindset – stay away from catalogs and stores. Stop comparing your life with someone else’s.  And definitely get off social media…it is a contentment stealer.

Take care of you.

  • Get into a personal care routine. Drink more water. Begin an exercise routine. Go for a walk. Cook/eat healthier meals.  Lose that weight you are always thinking about. As you are taking care of you…contentment is not far behind.

Spend time with God.

  • As the author and perfecter of your life He knows you inside and out. He knows the steps He has planned for you. Lean into Him. And just let go. Find contentment in the fact that you do not have to know all the answers…you just need to know the here and now.

Pause before speaking.

  • If someone pushes your hot buttons or says something that you feel is retaliation worthy….stop. Count to 3. And say something nice instead or… don’t even engage. Arguments will definitely move you from a place of contentment to a place of anger and irritation.

Contentment does not come naturally.

It is a choice. But, I promise that a life of contentment and joy is a much easier life to live. Not sure how to do that? I got ya covered….The Art of Joyful Living is the perfect course for those who WANT to live a different life. A better life. A more fulfilled life. A life the represents them as they really want to be. Check it out for sure.

So, let’s talk about non-contentment for a minute. Are any of these statements true in your own life?

  • You hesitate to have friends (or anyone) over to the house because your house is not insta worthy. The rugs are threadbare, the furniture old, and there are toys everywhere.
  • Your best friend just got a brand-new-out-of-the-showroom car. And it is beautiful. No dents, no spills, it even smells great, PLUS it has the latest technology. And here you are. Driving an old (er) car that has none of that. The closest you have to technology is a CD player. 
  • The kids that you see out and about look perfect. Hair combed, great (and clean) outfit PLUS well behaved. And you look at your kids who always seem disheveled. No matter how often you wash their face and hands or comb their hair nothing changes. 
  • Her clothes are always so trendy.
  • Her husband is always so attentive and nice.
  • Her yard looks amazing.
  • Her dad is just so nice and always present.
  • Her vacations are so exotic and fun. 
  • Her mother loves her just the way she is without criticizing all the time.

Every single one of those thought processes will rob you of your contentment. 

The Bible says in Philippians 4:12-13. “I have LEARNED to be content in whatever circumstances.” 

I would like to encourage you to stop comparing you to them. Yours to theirs.

I would like to encourage you to take your comparison glasses off and put your gratitude glasses on. What do you see? I bet, whatever it is, it's pretty great. How do I know that? Cause it's yours. Your life. Your mess. Your love. Your satisfaction. Your contentment.

You can do it. I know you can..for sure!


Now, sometimes life can get pretty overwhelming, right?

And sometimes, when you are overwhelmed, stress sets in.

And when stress sets in it is sometimes difficult to be happy or joyful. So, please don’t let stress have the last word! 

Go on and take a look at the ‘Top 5 Stress Reducers’ (Action Plan included). So that you can eliminate what causes you stress and get on the path of living a joyful life.

What is Joyful Living all about?

Joyful Living is ALL about not letting let the circumstances of YOUR life determine who you really are. You learn to choose YOU instead! Not sure how to do that? Let me help! 

To begin, go ahead and read:

Question of the day - What area of your life are you currently most content with?

The Search for Happiness

What area of your life are you currently most content with?