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Career & Finance Fridays

Money & Finances

Victim Mentality With Money

A friend of mine has the worst victim mentality with money. It actually drives me a bit crazy because she is unwilling to hear any advice and then she complains about how broke she is.

She seems to believe that everything in the world is happening TO her, instead of her being in control of the things she can control.

Don’t get me wrong, there is lots that we cannot control, but we can control what we do with our money. The truth is that her household makes enough money to live a pretty decent life. But they choose to do unwise things with their money and then they end up with empty bank accounts and wonder how they will buy groceries for the week.

For example, the last time I saw her, she was telling me how everything is so expensive and she isn’t sure how they will afford to take her kid to the dentist. They will have a bit of a bill for the work he needs to get done, but nothing they couldn’t have cash for with proper planning. The next day, she posted online about how the whole family was going out to the movie theatre. Where we live, that is about a $100 outing by the time you get tickets, popcorn, drinks, and snacks. These types of outings are a common occurrence for them.

Her kids always have new clothing (and not because they need more, but simply because the clothes are cute), and the latest gadgets and knicknacks.

I know I sound judgy, and I don’t mean to be that. The point is that it is easy to complain about how expensive everything is, but we can choose to be victims to our money circumstances, or we can choose to be intentional about how we spend. This means that we often have to delay our gratification; however, on the upside, it means that we have enough margin in our budgets that not everything is a stressful financial emergency.

Recommended Movie

Parasite

Song Kang-ho, Lee Sun-kyun
2019

Interesting Fact #1

The Victim archetype creates a self-reinforcing cycle that looks like this: Something bad happens (or is perceived as bad). This confirms the belief that you’re powerless. The confirmation leads to passivity. Passivity leads to missed opportunities. Missed opportunities lead to worse outcomes. Worse outcomes confirm the original belief.

SOURCE

Interesting Fact #2

In practical terms, you might stay in a job that underpays you because “that’s just how it is in my industry” — without ever negotiating or exploring alternatives. You might accumulate debt and frame it as inevitable rather than examining the spending patterns that created it. You might turn down opportunities because “something will go wrong anyway.”

SOURCE

Interesting Fact #3

The other shadow dimension is that the Victim archetype can coexist with genuine privilege. You might be struggling financially relative to your peers, but the Victim lens can blind you to the resources, opportunities, and choices that are actually available to you. This blindness isn’t moral failure — it’s a feature of the archetype that needs gentle, persistent challenging.

SOURCE

Quote of the day

“Twenty bucks an hour is no great wage in New York, a city where the middle class starts somewhere in the six figures.” ― A.D. Aliwat

Article of the day - Millennials Need To Stop With The Victim Mentality And Start Taking Control Of Their Finances

Millennials. This word strikes all sorts of connotations. Some positive and some negative. I am a member of this generation and I hear it all. We are supposedly the arch enemy of the Baby Boomer generation - despite the fact we were raised by them. We are ridiculed for receiving participation trophies, but people don’t seem to ridicule the people who thought they were a good idea in the first place. I see a new article every week detailing some industry we are “killing”. I could go on, and on, and on…

 

But I’ve been noticing something lately that has been driving me crazy. It has become commonplace to see Millennials vent about how hard they have it and how the deck has been stacked against them.  They blame generations that have come before them for the situations they are in now.

 

No one can deny the hand Millennials have been dealt; but, there is a generational wide thought where we believe we’ve had it harder than other generations and there is a sense of entitlement for what society owes us. Well, I’m sick of this mentality. The lists below detail major hardships each generation has experienced.

 

Baby Boomers

  • They came of age during the 1960s and 1970s, a turbulent time in American history.

  • JFK, MLK, RFK all assassinated.

  • We were on the brink of nuclear war with the Soviet Union.

  • Civil rights were rightfully on the forefront of society’s mind.

  • Baby Boomers were drafted into an unpopular war in Vietnam and were shunned upon their return.

  • There were bear markets where S&P 500 lost -22.2%, -36.1%, -48.2%, and -27.1% all in a 15-year period of time.

  • Richard Nixon resigned.

  • Inflation in the 1970s was out of control.

  • As Boomers were becoming first time home buyers, their mortgage rates were sky high by today’s standards.

  • Baby Boomers have experienced an annual average S&P 500 return of 8.33% since 1970.

     

Generation X

  • They came of age during the 1980s and 1990s.

  • Desert Storm affected this generation like Vietnam for Boomers - but with much more support upon their return.

  • They entered the workforce during the 1990 recession.

  • As they were hitting their career stride, the tech bubble burst.

  • As the tech bubble burst, 9/11 happened.

  • 7 years after 9/11, the Great Recession hit as Gen X had most of their net worth tied to the value of their home.

  • The generation has experienced flat wage growth for the majority of their working years and doesn’t have the retirement savings it needs.

  • Generation X has experienced an annual average S&P 500 return of 8.43% since 1990.

     

Millennials

  • 9/11 happened as the oldest members were graduating high school.

  • Many of the boots on the ground for the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq were comprised of Millennials.

  • We took out student loans to pay for college because society told us we needed a college degree to get a good paying job.

  • We graduated into what was the worst recession in a generation and the jobs we were told were waiting for us were not there.

  • We took jobs where we were over-qualified for and underpaid just to pay rent and eat.

  • This has snowballed into putting off major life events: getting married, having kids, buying a house...because we couldn’t afford it.

  • We are now getting our foothold in the US economy after a decade of fighting.

  • Millennials have experienced an annual average S&P 500 return of 9.90% since 2010.

     

These lists scratch the surface. Does this look like Millennials have had it worse than Baby Boomers or Get X? Everyone has been affected by things on a macro-level that are out of their control. What you can control is how you react and respond to things. You play with the hand you’ve been dealt. Yelling into the void about how society has done you wrong isn’t going to fix anything. It just isn’t.

 

You need to ask yourself “What type of person am I going to be?”. Are you going to be the type that folds at the sign of adversity? Or are you going to be the type of person who takes the bull by the horns?

 

So how do you take the bull by the horns?  We need to take control of our finances. Millennials have proven themselves to be resourceful and we aren’t afraid to “hustle”.  My recommendation is to embrace your inner entrepreneur.  If you have risk appetite, then start your own company.  If you don’t, then be an intrapreneur inside the company you work for.   If that doesn’t work in your profession, start a side hustle to earn some extra income. Channel your energy into building something. You’ll be amazed at what happens when you embrace this mentality. You’ll go from being a helpless cog in society’s machine to being completely in charge of your future. We as a generation have the capability to truly change the world for the better if we put our collective mind to it.

 

I had a teacher in high school who had a profound impact on me. He had two sayings that I think of quite often. The first – It’s not your fault, but it is your problem. And the second - You are guaranteed the pursuit of happiness; you are not guaranteed happiness. These two phrases describe exactly where Millennials find themselves now. We are at a crossroads. Are we going to cave into the negativity and blame others for our situation? Will there be articles like this written about us 15 years from now? Or are we going to take control of our lives, make the best of the hand we have been dealt, and leave the world in a better place than we found it?

 

I know which one I’m choosing…do you?

Question of the day - What is the worst money advice that you have ever received?

Money & Finances

What is the worst money advice that you have ever received?