The ruler of my body is my mind;
It refuses to let me out of its bind.
I’m quick to my emotions in the worst kind of way.
I get angry and apathetic and anxious every day.
I have scars on my arms, I have scars on my heart.
My mind is my attacker and that’s just the start.
My thoughts are constantly out of order
And there’s no fixing that my brain’s a hoarder.
It hides away things someone said to me once
And makes sure that I dwell on them for months.
Everything’s my fault, everyone’s out to get me.
Why can’t anyone see what I see?
I slowly step to my own drum
But it’s erratic, ecstatic, and renders me dumb.
I’m never right in fight or flight
And I’ve been told my future isn’t bright.
I’ve been so wrong so many times before
It’s not a surprise when I’m shown to the door.
I try my best to pass the test
But eventually end up being repressed.
I cry when you laugh and I laugh when you cry;
I’m doomed to this cycle till the day I die.
Sometimes, I’m overly emotional.
Sometimes, I feel nothing at all.
I talk to myself; my conversations are intriguing.
Then the voices never stop; constant dialogue is fatiguing.
The ruler of my body is my mind
And it criticizes everything it can find.
It makes me feel useless, worthless, and dead
Until, eventually, it is wrong instead.
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