Research has been done on a particular group of people having all couples, and by inspecting them with every possible question, the conclusion is that came with the most common reason for divorce is lack of commitment. All the separated couples and yet-to-be-separated couples have clarified that with time they tend to lose interest in their partner, and fear of becoming the toxic one in the relationship gets so real that they have to end the relationship and go for divorce.
There are many other reasons for divorce, like not getting support from family, domestic violence, financial problems and day-to-day conflicts. Another common reason is getting married very young and needing more time to understand what you want or what the other person expects.
In any husband-wife relationship, emotional dependency is equally important as physical intimacy, whereas normally, what happens is that the husband is emotionally unavailable and the wife is emotionally unstable, so they stop having quality time and expressing their feelings together.
A newspaper columnist Pooja Bedi in the Times of India, stated that after counselling many couples, she concluded that neither of them lacked in communicating about their needs and desires, which majorly leads to misunderstandings. Also, people fear confrontation and rather than sit and talk about the issue; they choose arguments to let down each other. Speaking of lack of commitment being the top reason for divorce, factors such as fear of being hurt or being with the wrong person, relationship anxieties and past trauma also contribute to it. The lack of commitment in a relationship will ultimately lead to divorce, fear of being dependent on another person will prevent them from expressing it, and it will be a big disregard for their spouse.
Couples who are now divorced were asked when they realised they wanted the divorce, and the answer said it wasn't a one-night decision. It was a whole process of falling out of love, and over time, they generated this feeling of avoiding thinking about the future, plus spending a lot of time questioning.
These couples avoid making plans and do not commit to anything for the near future, which leads their feelings to generate unattachment.
A survey has been done by presenting the areas of incompatibility which lead to commitment issues :
- Taking the time and needing to make more effort to what the other person expects.
- Couples avoid having honest conversations about other people's needs.
- Childhood traumas can lead to fear of leaving, abandoning and anxiety.
Reasons might differ from place to place or situation to situation. One person is working and another is at home might also lead to conflicts; one wants to have a child, and the other one is not ready yet; cooking meals, picking up kids from school, each other's family's priorities, time management, history of the short-lived relationship, lack of emotional attachment, delayed response to texts or calls, poor communications all these things lead to divorce.
Fear of ending a relationship without notice or telling, sometimes because of past short-term relationships, people also develop trauma or anxieties related to exiting the marriage without mentioning any particular or valid reason. Insecurities and trust issues because of past experiences can prevent some people from ever trusting one else; complicated family dynamics or coming from a family having an unhealthy background also leads to your perspective towards handling relationships. This lack of commitment is not only a problem in relationships but also in other fields like the workplace, friendships, schools and family too; flaky or inconsistent behaviour will also be problematic, as being picky about things and making a big deal out of small issues are also a matter of concern for married couples because these small things which people ignore in their starting phase of relationship for the sake of others happiness becomes the reason for the inconsistency of their bond.
Intimacy is another reason contributing to the divorce process; physical affection is equally important for a long-term relationship to keep the spark alive, which is another big reason why couples don't get along so well and get bored after a particular period in the relationship.
So I think all these factors and reasons are a summary of the best reasons for divorce and that too number one being the fear of commitment which is very common in today's world, if there isn't any progress in one's relationship then either one of the party gets hurt and this eventually will lead to divorce.
So confronting and talking it out simultaneously will not lead to any of these conclusions, and dealing with it all will lead to a beautiful and stress-free life.
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