Hindsight

My paradise, my sanctuary
Is likewise my desolation,
A haven of our creation,
Shattering as our love grows wary.
The arms that once protected,
Are now the arms that push me away.
The heart that beat for you each day,
Hardly beats at all now, dejected.
Eyes that once saw the future
Are eyes now that only look back,
Hot tears show the strength that I lack
Realising I was your abuser.
How could I have ignored
All of your sacrifices?
Looking past my vices
Still loving what you deplored.
It took so long to understand,
But now you are unattainable
A friendship not sustainable
Life without you becomes bland.
My mind has become a prison
Held hostage by my imagination
Suffocated in my infatuation
Lost in the life I still envision.