3 Types of Rings in Malay Wedding Traditions

For a long time now, a portion of the Malay community still practices the customs of the old. Among these customs are wedding traditions, such as the process of "merisik" (a form of inquiry) and the gifting of rings to the woman's side. However, during the engagement and wedding ceremonies, there are also rings given by the man. In total, the woman will receive 3 types of rings. But, what differentiates these three rings?

Merisik Ring (cincin belah rotan)

"Merisik" by definition means to investigate or probe discreetly. But, in the wedding context, "merisik" involves the man sending a delegation to the woman's house to inquire about her marital status, whether she's already promised to someone or not.

In the past, "merisik" traditionally happened when the family wanted to arrange a marriage for their child. But nowadays, even couples who already know each other might still conduct the "merisik" ceremony so their families can get acquainted.

There's a specific type of ring that's popular among the Malay community during "merisik" for the prospective bride, known as "cincin belah rotan". This ring is made of 916 gold and has a simple design. It's also known as the indicative ring, symbolising that the woman has accepted the man's proposal.

Engagement Ring (cincin eternity)

Some couples want to speed up or simplify the wedding process by directly getting engaged to their chosen partner. During the engagement ceremony, another ring will be given by the man to his fiancée, symbolising that she will become his wife.

The design of this ring is usually more expensive and elaborate compared to the "merisik" ring. The engagement ring is also made of 916 gold but is typically wider and thicker. Engagement rings made of silver can also be given. These rings typically have a small gemstone in their design.

However, nowadays, many give their fiancée an "eternity ring" as the engagement ring. This "eternity ring" is made of 18k gold and has small diamonds encircling it.

Wedding Ring (cincin solitaire)

Lastly, there is the wedding ring. During the wedding ceremony, both the groom and bride exchange rings as a sign of their bond as husband and wife. Both parties partake in a ceremony, where they "cancel out the ablution/wudu’", and during this ceremony, both will wear the wedding ring on their ring finger.

The wedding ring is the most important when compared to the "merisik" and engagement rings, symbolising that the couple is now officially husband and wife.

Moreover, the wedding ring is also more exclusive in design. It typically features a diamond, also known as a solitaire ring.

However, some modern couples prefer designing their wedding rings according to their taste instead of buying ready-made ones. This is because they want their wedding ring to be unique and stand out.

Engagement and Wedding Rings for Men

You might wonder, what about the men? Do they receive three types of rings from the women as well? The answer is no. This is because wearing an engagement or wedding ring, also known as "cincin nikah lelaki" for men, isn't a necessity for them.

However, it's not wrong if a woman wants to gift her future husband an engagement or wedding ring so they can match during the wedding.

But remember, since the majority of Malays are Muslims, it's prohibited for Malay Muslim men to wear gold rings. So, if you want to gift your future husband an engagement or wedding ring, buy one made of silver or platinum.

Wearing the Merisik, Engagement, and Wedding Rings

With three rings given during the wedding process, you might wonder which finger each ring should be worn on.

Which ring to wear and on which finger is really up to the individual, the main thing is that you feel comfortable wearing it. However, some believe that the "merisik" ring should be worn on the left ring finger and the engagement ring on the right.

It's also okay if you want to wear both the "merisik" and engagement rings together on the right ring finger.

If you're already married, you can wear your wedding ring along with the engagement ring on the right, while the "merisik" ring remains on the left ring finger.

Conclusion

Regardless, it's important to remember that the act of giving rings is just a custom. From an Islamic perspective, what's essential is the wedding ceremony (akad nikah). If you can afford it, go ahead! Visit the Love & Co. website https://love-and-co.com.my/ to learn more about the different types of rings available!