With technology, flexible work, and ever-changing workplaces, setting healthy boundaries at work is more difficult than ever before.
Going through a job search can be a difficult time—and, unfortunately, a time in which you veer more towards people-pleasing than asserting yourself. We all want the job, so of course, we should be as agreeable as possible, right? Well, not really.
This is all to say that setting healthy boundaries for yourself at work starts early—as early as the interview process itself.
From the interview and onward, you teach your boss and your colleagues how to treat you and how you achieve a healthy work-life balance by implementing physical boundaries, mental boundaries, and personal limits.
For example, do you check work email outside of office hours? Do you make yourself available on Slack 24/7—to solve any problem that might arise? Will you pick up work outside of your job description at a moment’s notice?
Setting boundaries from the start allows you to navigate your workplace, avoid potential toxic environments, and create a clear path for you to do your best work without being taken advantage of or burning out.
No two people have the exact same work style.
It’s important to keep that in mind and to set your own boundaries. Ask your local introvert and they will tell you exactly how important it is to protect your emotional energy and interpersonal boundaries.
Types of Boundaries to Set + Protect
If you're confused as to what boundaries to set, we are here to differentiate the healthy types of boundaries from what could be unreasonable requests. It's extra work and it might feel unnatural at first, but preemptively protecting your mental health is so important.
Physical Boundaries
Let's start with physical boundaries. Why? Well, if you're having trouble with physical boundaries at work, then it's likely that all of your boundaries are being stomped upon.
- Offer handshakes over hugs.
- Don't attend any "work events" after 7:00 p.m.
- Take your after-lunch walk alone (maybe with your favorite podcast).
- Say no to working on the weekends.
- Take your sick days and your mental health days.
- Have a "tell" to show other employees that you're busy (i.e., wearing over-hear headphones or closing your door).
Mental Boundaries
Anybody who has slogged from the 3:00 p.m. slump all the way to 6:00 p.m. knows that mental energy is important—and it can be used up quickly by nonsense. Here are boundaries to see to preserve your mental juices.
- Set your working hours—and stick to them.
- Decline superfluous meetings (and encourage management to run more efficient meetings.)
- Set away messages when engaged in deep work mode.
- Do not engage in anything that can be perceived as gossip—especially about others in your workplace.
Emotional Boundaries
Emotional boundaries can be tough to pinpoint, but it's so crucial to do this work. By setting emotional boundaries, you're giving yourself permission to disallow someone else's bad day to affect yours.
This doesn't mean that you cut out empathy or understanding. Rather, it means that the next time Bill is yelling and throwing his papers around in his office, you can keep your head down. Here are more examples of emotional boundaries at work.
- Communicate upfront how you like to give and receive feedback.
- Do not imprint on someone else's bad mood or outburst.
- Delegate work when necessary.
- Create a schedule that prioritizes the balance in work-life balance.
8 Ways to Establish + Keep Healthy Boundaries at Work
Okay, but how do you actually set your list of boundaries? Here are eight ways to prioritize, implement, and honor your boundaries—by infusing them into your daily interactions and your everyday routine.
1. Assess Your Personal Boundaries First
Before you communicate your boundaries, you’ll have to take the time to assess them, their limits, and how to set them.
Your personal boundaries will stem from your values and your life’s priorities.
Any job worth having (in our humble opinion) recognizes that it is, first and foremost, a job.
Aside from your work, you have your home life, your relationships, your passions, and your personal space to consider.
In Doctor Dana Gionta’s book, From Stressed to Centered, she offers a step-by-step process for assessing personal boundaries at work:
- Know your limits
- Pay attention to your feelings
- Give yourself permission to set boundaries
- Consider your environment
2. Communicate Upfront
Once you have your priorities and values in place, communicate them. This can be as simple as letting your team know that you do not answer emails after 7:00 p.m.
You can also use this time to communicate what constitutes a work "emergency" so that you're not fielding "crises" that pop up in your off-hours.
Communication is the thread that will run throughout each additional tip in this article. When you take the steps to communicate upfront, you are safeguarding against future potential miscommunications.
To learn even more about creating great personal and organizational communication methods, check out our Interpersonal Communication 101 course!
3. Create Clear Structures
Structure is important in the workplace. You're the architect of your own boundaries, so build them solid.
By creating clear boundary-based structures upfront, it takes any guesswork out of common boundary infractions. Your coworkers are less likely to interrupt your work if you set up blocks of time in which you are engaged in do-not-disturb work.
If you're in a management role, you might create structures that include building out team responsibilities. This creates clear guidelines for where (and with whom) responsibility lies in a variety of circumstances.
4. Keep Your Relationships Professional
We all love having a work wife or a work BFF, but sometimes those relationships get tricky—and convoluted from the perspective of boundaries.
Now, we’re not saying you shouldn’t have an at-work confidante or close friend. What we are saying is to mind that your work relationships remain, by and large, professional.
As difficult as this may seem to some—especially our extrovert friends—it’s important to separate your friends from your coworkers.
5. Delegate Work When Appropriate
One important part of establishing boundaries is in setting expectations about the work you will do, that you’re hired to do, the work you’re willing to pick up (part of being a “team player”), and the work that is outside of your responsibilities.
When work is entirely outside of your scope of responsibility, you might have the opportunity to say no (we’ll get to that in our next point) or delegate the work to someone who is more suited to the work.
Obviously, delegating work is a bit easier to navigate when you’re already in a managerial position.
When you’re not a manager, you can still delegate work. Ask yourself a few questions to qualify whether or not the work is better completed by someone else.
- Do I have the time to complete this work without compromising the main functions of my job?
- Is there someone else on my team better suited or looking for an opportunity to grow by completing this specific work?
- Is this a job or task that can be justifiably delegated to someone else with a lesser workload so that I can perform my job at the optimum level?
6. Say No
Sometimes, your established boundaries won’t even require you to actually delegate the work. In these cases, you can just say—and this is a tough one for many of us—no.
Saying no is a lot easier said than done, especially in a professional atmosphere.
In an episode of The Career Contessa Podcast, where we interviewed former hostage negotiator Christopher Voss, he introduced us to a helpful tactic when someone asks for something that is outside the realm of possibilities.
Voss explains that, when you need to decline a project or task, you can ask, “How am I supposed to do that?”
It’s important not to ask this in an accusatory way, but, rather, in a way that elicits a little empathy from the other party.
It’s in explaining the scope of work you do have—and in exploring whether you can fit in more work without having your primary responsibilities suffer.
By asking this question, you're giving the other person a chance to consider the work you do have—and whether adding more (or interrupting it) is actually feasible.
7. (Actually) Take Time Off
Another great way to set boundaries is by taking your time off—when you get it, when you need it, and when it’s offered. Letting vacation time accrue and expire is not a point of pride—nor should it be.
Use the time you're given. You've earned it. When you do, set that perfect out of office message and take time to recharge.
In the long run, your career will only benefit from a rested you.
8. Use Technology to Help
Do you know who is great at setting boundaries? Technology. Use it as a tool to help you set certain boundaries.
At Career Contessa, we are all huge fans of creating status updates that communicate where we are, what we’re up to, and whether or not we’re available at that moment.
Technology can be great at helping you create structures. It can be putting up an away message on your Slack when you’re deep into writing.
It can be blocking off a few hours a week on your calendar in which you are engaged in specific work—and thus, unavailable to be bothered. You can also use tools to set your working hours—which will notify your coworkers of the hours in which you are, in fact, working.
Technology can also help when you’re dedicated to taking an actual vacation. You can set up systems and chains of command for your time away—and communicate that to your team before venturing off.
You can also leave a detailed OOO message that directs any incoming emails to the right resource.
Bonus Tip: Prepare for Boundary-Breakers
While you’re out there setting boundaries, you will experience pushback and infractions.
Building boundaries is not an overnight process—and some people are unaware that they're constantly crossing them—like that coworker who taps your shoulder when you're deep in work with headphones on.
Don't view boundary-breaking as a step back. Instead, use it as an opportunity to instruct your coworkers on how you best communicate, when it's appropriate to disrupt you (if ever), and what they can realistically expect from you.
What to Say When a Boundary Is Broken:
"Per my calendar, I am in deep work from 12:00 p.m. until 2:00 p.m. today. I made my calendar public if you'd like to find space to connect later on this week."
"I am out of the office on vacation, but you can connect with [NAME] and they can help you with this matter."
"In order to do my best work on this project, I cannot take any additional projects right now. I'd be happy to help in the future, but I need a week's notice to fit additional work into my schedule."
However, if you find that your boundaries are repeatedly—and aggressively—disregarded, you might be working in a toxic environment that can't be helped. In that case, it might be time to explore new options.
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