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Truth & Character Thursdays


How to Ask for Forgiveness

Everyone makes mistakes. Each of us is guilty of screwing up, failing, and hurting others at one point or another. After all, we're only human. And while it's not worth letting guilt derail your life, forgiveness is an important step of healing and moving forward.

When you've wronged someone, it's not okay to just leave it and hope for the best. Particularly if it's a relationship you value, acknowledging what you've done and apologizing is a way to grow, heal, and strengthen yourself.

Once you've realized your mistake, go to the person you've hurt. Even if you stand by your actions, find a way to apologize for the pain you've caused. Be honest, authentic, and real. Be humble.

People are more important than being right. Set aside your pride and do whatever you can to make up for what happened.

Recommended Book

A Good Apology

Jul 21, 2020
ISBN: 9780349426549

Interesting Fact #1

When you haven't forgiven someone, you get a boost of stress hormones anytime you'll think of what happened.


Interesting Fact #2

Forgiveness builds self esteem in people who own up to their behaviour and pursue growth.


Interesting Fact #3

Anger and hurt can make it harder to forgive someone.


Quote of the day

Sacrifice is at the heart of repentance. Without deeds, your apology is worthless.

- Bryan Davis

Article of the day - How to Ask for Forgiveness

Apologizing is never a fun task, but it is one that strengthens a relationship. It takes humility to admit to another person that you were wrong and to ask them to forgive you. We all make mistakes and say things we wish we could take back or do things we wish we could undo. Whenever that happens, we need to immediately seek forgiveness from the person we have hurt.

So follow the three As of a true apology next time you need to make things right with someone in your life: acknowledge, ask, and act.

Acknowledge What You Did Wrong

The first A in a true apology is to acknowledge. Acknowledge what you did wrong without making any excuses. And that means no “buts!” I can’t tell you how many times when I’ve spoken to my wife that I have an excuse or a “but” embedded in my apology. I’ve said to my wife, “Susan, you know what? I was wrong to talk to you like that, but if you would’ve just done what I asked you to do, I wouldn’t have gotten so mad.” That’s the wrong way to apologize. Shifting or sharing the blame does not demonstrate humility and will only make things worse.

Ask for Forgiveness

The second A is to ask for forgiveness. Once you have acknowledged that you were wrong, ask for forgiveness without any conditions at all—not even the expectation that the other person will forgive you. Focus on your own responsibility in the matter, not anyone else’s. Say this: “I was wrong, please forgive me.” Period. Nothing added to it.

Take Action

The third and final A in asking for forgiveness is to take action. Take action and commit to that person that it will not happen again—and then make sure it doesn’t. This is what makes apologizing and asking for forgiveness effective. Our actions and attitudes need to speak as loudly as our words. If we keep making the same mistake over and over again, our apologies will start to ring hollow. It’s up to you to change and grow, both for the other person’s sake and for your own.

So now you know the three As of a true apology: acknowledge what you did wrong, sincerely ask for forgiveness, and take action to change.

Remember that even if the other person does accept your apology and grants forgiveness, you can’t expect things to be better right away. Again, your apology needs to be given without expectations on the other person. They may get over small things quickly, but it can take time for someone to warm up to you again if they feel wronged. Just because someone forgives you does not mean that they immediately trust you. Trust must be earned. So be patient and focus on your own growth. Time will show that you are changing and are sincere about not wanting to hurt the person again.

Question of the day - Do you tend to hold a grudge?


Do you tend to hold a grudge?