Before my sister met the guy she would eventually marry, she dated this horrible, manipulative, pathological lying, psychopath. As you can see, I was a big fan of him! As were my parents, of course. My disdain for him ran so deep that after a huge blowout with my sister, we didn’t speak for almost three months. Considering how close we had been before this, three months felt like a lifetime.
While we were all grateful when they finally broke up (he actually dumped my sister which is a joke and a half since he’s the evil one in this scenario), I learned a very valuable lesson in regards to how to act if you can’t stand your sibling’s partner.
1. Keep Your Mouth Shut When You See The Partner
Throwing insults at your sibling’s partner, as much as you might want to, is going to cause a whole boatload of trouble for everyone involved. So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut.
2. Spend As Little Time With Them As Possible
If your sibling is having a cookout or party, politely skip it. Just explain you’re better one on one with just them.
3. Remain Neutral When They Have An Argument
Your sibling and their S.O. will fight and your sibling will run to you to complain about it. Instead of taking this as the perfect opportunity to tell your sibling what you really think, remain as neutral as possible.
4. Try To Put A Positive Spin On Things
In fact, I’d suggest you go as far as putting a positive spin on whatever your sibling and their partner fought about.
5. Have An Escape Plan For Your Sibling
At some point, your sibling is going to realize their partner is trash, so have an escape plan ready for them – even if they don’t know about it.
6. Always Be There For Them
Always. No matter how much you hate the dumpster fire they’re dating.
7. When They Ask For Advice Be Honest, But Not Too Honest
If your sibling is thinking about calling it quits with their partner, don’t immediately jump for joy. Instead, offer a small percentage of your feelings. It may be childish, but if you unleash on your sibling just how much you hate their partner, they might go right back to their partner in weird display of defiance.
8. Remind Yourself That We All Have Lessons We Need To Learn
If your siblings partner is so bad that you can’t stand them, then there’s a good chance they don’t have what it takes for a long-term relationship. This, however, is a lesson your sibling needs to learn on their own.
9. Don’t Lecture Your Sibling
Advice is one thing, but lecturing is another thing all together.
10. At Family Dinners, Just Don’t Engage
I’m not suggesting you ignore them, just don’t engage with them. It’s that easy.
11. Never Give Up On Your Sibling
Ever. They’ll comes to their senses. Eventually. (Hopefully.)
12. Talk To Your Sibling’s Friends
Maybe you’re the one in the wrong here… maybe? So talk to your sibling’s friends; see how they feel about the partner.
13. Never Tell Your Sibling They Should Break Up
Again, you just might have them running back into the arms of the partner like they’ve never run back toward anything in their life.
14. Don’t Get Too Involved
If it gets to a point where other family members are involved, because your sibling’s partner is really that horrible, don’t take this as an opportunity to gang up on them. You want to at least make them feel they have one person they can turn to if things get messy.
15. Remain Cool And Calm
No matter the situation or drama that unfolds regarding your sibling and their partner, hold it together. Be the voice of reason – as much as it might pain you.
16. Realize It Can’t Last Forever
Well, nothing lasts forever, not even life… so, you know, there is some hope; morbid hope, but still hope.
17. Try To Have A Heartfelt Chat
If you broach the subject from the angle that you love your sibling and you’re just looking out for them, you’re more likely to get through to them than if you go into it by attacking them.
18. Remember This Isn’t Your Life
Which technically goes back to that whole idea that we all have to learn our lessons on your own.
19. Understand You Can’t Dictate To The Heart
Cliché, but totally true – especially if you’ve exhausted all reasonable attempts to make your feelings and concerns clear.
20. Never Ever Say ‘I Told You So’
But if that day comes that your sibling and her partner, whom you couldn’t stand AT ALL, finally call it quits, be kind. Don’t do the “I told you so” dance or mock your sibling’s pain. Instead, quietly celebrate that the jerk is gone and hope it stays that way.