Mastery Mondays
Influence & Negotiation
3 Tips To Be A Good Negotiator
“Do NOT be the first one to talk,” said the presenter from the stage at an entrepreneurial conference I attended years ago.
He was presenting on the topic of negotiation. It was an intense presentation.
Looking back, I disagree with some of his points. He was teaching how to be all in for yourself. And while there is some merit to this train of thought, I also think that negotiating should be an exercise that is mutually beneficial for both parties.
Otherwise, the negotiation process lacks integrity. Really, what is negotiating? It’s an exchange - one thing for another.
So if you think about it from that perspective, then there should be something equitable about the exchange.
Now, it’s also been said that prices are set (on pretty much anything) by what a consumer is willing to spend on it. Think about real estate. What something is worth is what someone is willing pay for it. You can set a house listing at whatever price point you want, but the consumers will tell you what it is worth. Supply and demand.
So in negotiation, the same could be said. The appropriate price point is what someone is willing to give you in exchange for what you are selling.
But, the thing to remember is that as humans, is that we can have a mass amount of influence over people. And we must be careful how we use our influence - for good or for bad. For self serving purposes, or for mutually beneficial purposes.
So, my 3 tips for negotiation are a combination of what I have learned over the years from conferences and experience, mixed with my personal belief that integrity needs to be at the top of the list in all things.
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Be ruthless - negotiation is an intense process. You need to know what you want and you need to have your bottom line in your head. Pre-decide what you will and will not accept and then learn to be ok with whatever the outcome is. The more you can detach yourself from the outcome, the more successful you will be. In other words, you need to be ok with it not going your way - to be willing to walk away if your terms are not met.
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Have respect and integrity for the person/party you are negotiating with. At the end of the process, you want to feel good about how it went - you don’t want to end up feeling guilty for manipulating someone into a decision that neither one of you feels good about. It’s ok for you to have your bottom line set in your head - and it’s also ok if that bottom line is not the right fit for the person/party you are negotiating with. Most people can sense when they are being taken advantage of, and they don’t like it. If you are trying to coerce someone into a decision that really heavily serves you (and not them), chances are it won’t go well.
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Let the other person/party throw out the first number. This will help to give you a gauge on what they are thinking. Be aware that waiting for the other person to start can sometimes cause a stalemate if both parties are waiting for the other person to start. If that’s the case, I do not believe that throwing out the first number is the worst thing you can do. You already have established your bottom line, so start higher and see where the process goes.
My last and final piece of advice is to have fun. I know negotiating can feel stressful, but if you follow point 2 and can detach yourself from the outcome, it can actually be a thrilling and enjoyable experience.